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I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at a bank later and if everything goes well, I will be out of debt. I'm so excited I can barely put my balaclava on.

The saga is over.

˙ʇno ʇᴉ sʇɹos sǝɯᴉʇǝɯos ʇᴉ ǝƃɐɯᴉ ǝɥʇ ǝzᴉsǝɹ noʎ ɟᴉ puᴉɟ I

Today I packed everything needed for this afternoon's tasks. To be safe I put my flask of coffee inside one of my wellies. Unfortunately, on putting my left foot into said wellie I discovered I had neglected to tighten the top of the flask. No coffee. And very wet left foot.

My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied, "No..." She responded: "How about now?"

I had a Shite Great ride today......... I made an impromptu decision to pop out for a couple of hours, although it was very windy, and rain was looming but hadn't fallen yet, I thought "sod it, why not". Then I found out why not, the darned roads were sooooooo busy, (=shite), the first 30 minutes of my circuit were mostly sat behind long lines of cars and eventually filtering past when safe. So I decided just to keep calm, enjoy the moment and head back home, turned from Bulmer onto the country lanes (which = Great), there were hardly any cars, and they were easy to pass because they were few and far between, and I happened to have a thundering V-twin between my legs. This carried on all the way home, so just for a change I just made use of the incredible back roads in my area that I always hear other bikers riding around. I did 47 miles, although the furthest point I went to was Halstead, which is only 12 miles away. I was out for just 1 hour and 20 minutes, but the last 45 minutes were great fun, and I returned with a grin, feeling like I had an amazing day.

I just wish people with battery powered angle grinders would stick to their intended use - cutting down Ulez cameras.

Look again at the image - look closer - I'm sure you'll see her true nature

Lifeboat day at the model boat club.

For a couple of weeks now, my wife has been looking for our table napkins, which had mysteriously gone missing. We were quite chilled about it though, and thought they would show up some day - they couldn't have far. How wrong I was. Because today, I got an unexpected delivery from Sportsbikeshop, and there inside were the napkins, with this note (I did wonder about putting this into "nob of the day", but I thought SBS deserved their own thread title)

Set up the RGV power valves ,checked carb and oil pump settings and got it fired up. Rode it down the drive, first time it’s moved under power for a year or so. Once I was happy it was ok, I took the Lh engine cover off for a repaint.

So Mrs. Fiddlesticks decides to put a few homely niknaks on display for the benefit of potential buyers. Daughter comes down for a few days, after which we start showing the house. Little did we know the little wotsit had been "correcting" her mum's spelling... Cheers kiddo. Now we look like a pair of illiterates.

A couple of pics from the TRF Moto Junkies weekender in Wales. This is one of the more difficult parts of bast*rd Lane, surprisingly I managed to clear it 1st time with no assistance. This was another dodgy bit, I’m the one in blue staring at it thinking it’s a bloody trials section, unfortunately I span up the rear wheel and went sideways, so needed a little help I was lucky enough to get a lift off Adam to Wales along with my bike, his is the XR250, he is also a clubman trials rider and massively more talented than me. Accommodation was a 2 bed pod which I shared with a stranger, he was fine, no issues with that, there was a compost loo in the wood behind but the rest of the facilities seemed a long way away, traipsing back and forth for washing, showers, meals etc was painful after a full days trail riding. In the middle of nowhere It was a great weekend, no ego’s, everyone willing to assist us less skilled liabilities without moaning, beers & stories round the fire pit, apparently it a complexly different story if it’s wet.

A nice sunny run to Sleap aerodrome and then Old Stores.

Rode it 101 miles, to scrub in the tyres;

This afternoon the KTM chain got a good going over. First gave the area adjacent to the action a quick wipe down Then gave the chain it a good scrubbing with a wire brush to remove most of the caked on crud and wiped it down I then used this, I won it in a raffle Here is the result after about an hour, a clwan lubed chain that no longer has a grindy sound when spinning the wheel. Just need to fill it with oil & it’s ready to go

Just to get out on my bike this week I ride up to the Green Welly Stop at Tyndrum. It was a 3 hour round trip with a break at the Welly to get a bar of chocolate, that ended up being the most expensive Mars Bar I’ve ever bought, £1.33 but I needed it so stumped up. I should have made up some butties and popped them in the saddle bag. As for the ride, it was uneventful both ways but the drivers in front on the return were very twitchy on the brakes, so I had to leave plenty of room in front of me. Probably more notable was reaching 3.264 miles on my wee 125 since I got it at the end of July last year.

... Aaand now the fire alarm has gone off

Got home. Collecting bike tomorrow afternoon from son in law then on Wednesday up to Northumberland where my Dad is hospitalised. Try and find out what's what and whether I need to call my brothers over. He's 95 in August so had a good run.

Stuck in a traffic jam in Abidjan. Don't think this guy is a Starbucks rival:The boat ashorewas somewhat interesting particularly when it ran out of fuel. Fortunately he had a couple of jerry cans. Still an hour and a half was a long voyage.

Handy dry bag for the vast sum of £3.99 from Home Bargains. Be useful inside tank bags or panniers.

Down n Newquay at the moment being basked in the lovely Atlantic sunshine. Went to Project 83 bike night (again) Here are a few pics:

A proper blast from the past. A teenage TKs denim cutoff, always worn over the top of a black Fieldsheer Lancer leather jacket. My uniform for several years, be it out and about on an array of Yamaha RDs, Honda 250N Superdreams or even a yellow Honda 400/4; or down the pub or bike club with my mates, similarly attired. I think by the time I sold the 400/4 I had cut off my long hair and adopted a mullet and the biker look abandoned for Fred Perry polo shirts, stripey Wrangler sweatshirts and stretch pinstripe denim jeans. Or grey canvas pants and heavy woolen sweaters with garish patterns. So the cutoff - the missus has been wanting to throw it away for years but I am having none of it. It used to languish in a box under the bed in the spare bedroom, but recently (well 2015) moved to the bottom of the wardrobe where I forgot about its whereabouts. Still smells very faintly of Patchoulli Oil on the collar... The smell of my biking youth. That denim has done many, many thousands of miles on a bike in all weathers. Those days I would typically do 20,000 miles a year and change my bikes every 12 months. That ingrained road dust is 45 years old... Used to be a lot more badges, but I gave quite a few away to friends in exchange for a pint when "temporarily without funds" and about half a dozen rally badges to a mate about to engage his first bike rally and he did not not want it known. Of course, we surreptitiously informed the officials of the fact that he was wearing borrowed tinware and he got his "initiation" anyway. Never did get those badges back. IIRC he smelt of pee all weekend... Badges still there: Top left - Motorcycle Action Group members badge. Second row: Rolls Royce Aero Engine Division, Soviet pilots flying badge, Soviet cap badge. Third row. German Iron Cross. Bottom. Miniature RAF flying badge. Right shoulder: Tigger from winny the pooh. Given to me by an ex girfriend of the time. I put it there because it was a chip on my shoulder. Top row, WW2 USAAF pilots flying badge. Paid a fortune for that at the time Golden Heart presented by the Blood Transfusion Service for donating gawd knows how many pints. BMW motorcycles, Bultaco Motorcycles, my weapon of choice during my off road competition days. Bottom Row. Iron and Steel Rally badge - Scunthorpe 1983, Pissheads Rally Badge - Ely 1983. Panzer Rally 1983 - Probably Harrogate. Gave away the Slimy slug, Yard of Ale and White Rose Rally badges, along with a few other rally badges that I cannot recall the name of.

2002 R1 5PW. Recently returned to riding after an 8 year break and purchased this last month off a friend I've known for 20 years. He'd owned it from new. Have owned 1000s in the past and much newer bikes than this but this hands down is something special in my opinion. Absolutely amazing bike. Will be a garage queen - for Sunday blasts only as it's so mint I don't want to ruin it (and it scares the s**t out of me). Enjoy!

Topical bad joke. India just dropped 1000 onion bhajis and 600 mushroom pakoras on a major Pakistani airbase. The Indian Defence Minister defiantly proclaimed "that is just for starters".

Village preparations for this evening's VE Day event.

It is in the workshop getting its PDI and accessories fitted and I get it after work. Then straight up Loch Lomond for a ride.

Good Afters. Is it Friday? Going sailing tomorrow then (Mykonos).

Collected it from daughters place and given the showers (@%#@) rode straight home the fastest way. The 12 miles between Cirencester and home allowed for some blowing of cobwebs. Good to get it home.

My son’s visiting from Norfolk so a session at the judo club in Carlisle was in order. Being somewhat older than all the others I took it easy. I still ache though. Also taking time to play with grandson and step-grandkids: exhausted!

Rode it.

As some have mentioned, don't go down the cheap Chinese route. While yes, some Chinese bikes are increasing in reliability and quality as the Chinese market matures, as a new rider you'll want a reliable, tried and true, simple to maintain, simple to ride and very forgiving bike. A second hand bike from an established brand (Honda, Suzuki, etc) will see you well set up for your journey into motorcycling. I bought myself a near 20 year old Honda CG125 and it has been perfect. Very forgiving of me as a new rider, very simple to maintain, any repairs have been very straightforward and most able to be done myself with rudimentary knowhow (I could have done more myself, but bravery on my part is still lacking with tackling some of the jobs) and it will hold its value reasonably well if I ever come to sell it on one day (which I highly doubt I will ever do). I have run into the guy who had it before me a couple of times now and he keeps on telling me that his dad (who had sourced the bike for him as his first bike) is still quite furious that he took the perfectly good, reliable, bulletproof CG125 and partexed it for a new Keeway Superlight which (he took it to the dealership the other day while I was there) is already rusting, running terribly and the speedo has stopped working entirely. Could those issues be down to him not treating his new bike well? Possibly. All I know is that my 20 year old CG125 is in bloody good condition for a 20 year old bike, is super reliable, super fuel efficient and has a higher value to it than his less than one year old and already worse for wear Superlight. One other point to note as well, and again as some have mentioned and I've touched on above, if you decide somewhere down the line that biking really isn't for you, one of the tried and true brands (Honda etc) will hold their value much more than a Chinese bike will. If you decide that biking isn't for you and want to hang your helmet up, knowing that you will be able to recoup your expenses a bit is a good thing. And, now that that is said, I'll say this; Get whichever bike you want. Get a bike that you like, that you enjoy, that fits you comfortably and ride it with pride. I'd prefer for you to get a cool CG like me, but even if you go down the Chinese route, you are still at least on two wheels and that is something that should always be encouraged. Lets get you on two wheels in whichever way possible and then, once you are hooked, we can work on nudging you towards a better bike choice. And finally; Welcome to the best forum, best community, and best lifestyle choice you will ever make!

Mega busy time of year, but managed to get out last thing for a couple of hours. From Haverhill, through Linton, the Shalfords, Grantchester, a nice pootle through the old part of Cambridge, and then home. Did 60 miles in 2 hours, with a good few stops to adjust the wind deflector, which I seem to have got as best I can without looking through it. One stop was to grab a tag (pictured) . Really enjoying the 1050 now it's bedded in and I'm giving SDMS mode "A" a go, it's OK to be fair, if not a little "savage" on the pull away, but I think that's the idea

Thing is @Mawsley, that's gonna clash with the purple.... You need to be more considerate with your fashion.

Bike shopping. Not your typical girlie past time I admit and often involves some confused fella asking if i'm looking for my BF. Depending on my mood I might tell them I'm looking for my GF

So i returned from the trip on Sunday evening. The trip was amazing with many good but some not so good events. Overall the riding was fantastic, some of the roads and passes were something else. we couldn't do Stelvio as it does not open until the end of May, however i don't feel i missed out as the alternatives were excellent. Friday we met up at a hotel in Folkstone, didn't start well for one of the party as he broke down on the way. Turns out he had put diesel in his GS so the AA sorted that out pretty quickly for him and he was on his way, he didnt live that down for the entire trip. On day 1 the trip to Metz was quite long and the weather was terrible but we stopped off at an amazing little boulangerie, the staff were fantastic and the baguettes were first class. Turns out they always stop here on trips to Europe. The weather continued to be terrible all day but we got to Metz without any incidents. Day 2 we travelled from Metz to Freiburg, another fairly long day and another day where it was raining all day. we attempted the Grand Ballon but the rain was so bad (heavy rain and very low cloud cover meant we were losing visibility very quickly and without warning, the conditions were dangerous so we abandoned the Ballon. Day 3 we travelled to Italy, our longest trip at over 300miles and without a doubt the worst day for rain. This was the day my gear leaked and i was soaked, i am going to need some waterproof overs (will start a new thread for recommendations). Also during this trip one of the BMW XRs broke down and we were delayed for 2hrs (on an already long day), this meant we had to change our route slightly but this was not a problem as the conditions were so bad people were happy to just get to the destination. Water got into the electrics and the throttle sensor failed, this couldn't be fixed by the road side so BMW were called. The after care from BMW was excellent, the bike and rider were picked up and taken to a local BMW garage and put up in a hotel for the night. Although they couldn't replace the part they did fix it the next morning and seal it so he could continue his trip, he only missed one day with us as a result. Day 4, 5 and 6 took us to through Italy. this was where the fun could really begin, and the weather getting better each day. the mountain roads were amazing and we continued to visit some lovely little coffee shops and cafes. The first Triumph breakdown occurred in the morning of day 4 where the Speed Triple RS would not start in the morning, a blown fuse was the culprit (caused again by water ingress). Another GS breakdown at the start of day 5 and another 2hr delay, luckily it was only a problem with the battery so a new battery was purchased and we were on our way, the final breakdown of the trip was resolved. Day 7 meant a return to Germany and another long day, by now the weather was glorious. more fantastic roads were ridden and much fun was had. Day 8 was back to Metz and a chance to ride the Grand Ballon in the sunshine, what a road. To summarise, the trip was everything i had hoped and more. The weather did put a dampener on things at the start. When we got to the hotel in Merano on day 3 i was questioning if this was a good idea and i was not equipped properly. But Italy rectified this and was amazing, although we stopped in France Germany and Italy we also rode through Austria and Switzerland. The views in this part of the world are stunning and although you would see them 50 times a day they never got boring. Every time you emerged from a mountain tunnel into the most beautiful mountains and valleys, the first words were always "wow" and never got boring. So what did i learn about my bike. My 10 year old Street Triple was faultless the entire journey, 2 year old GS's with their complicated electronics were breaking down but the Triumph just went on and on. It was by far the oldest and lowest power on the trip but for the most part kept up, yes the GS's would speed away on the straights but i was never really left behind. The riding position maybe not the best for a long journey and the lack of fairing or screen was a big problem on the rainy days. I could have done with more power but it was a great experience and one i will definitely do again. I will add some photos.

Fudge was nailed on to win Dog of the Day for the first time in her brief existence. Then, just before getting back in the car, she scoffs half a pound of fresh fox shit. Honestly, I’m not sure she values the kudos and respect that the Dog of the Day brings. Tediously, again, Fudge is a knob. So, for an impressive 465th consecutive day since the inception of the competition, Beamish wins Dog of the Day.

It appears that someone has a video of me pleasuring myself. Oh no. I hope everyone enjoys the movie. It's not my finest work - but I believe I brought something of value to the small screen. I reckon you will consider it up there with Brando's On the Waterfront, De Niro's Raging Bull, and Witherspoon's Legally Blonde.

Wife has been away since Tuesday. So far the dogs have had upset stomachs, one accident in my bedroom, pulled my neck so I can't look left, rolled in shit three times, destroyed some post and constantly jumped on my bollocks when I've been sitting down quietly attempting to recapture my zen and sunny disposition. I need to find a website for pets where I can part-ex them for a torque wrench or something.

Stripped and repainted the RGV exhausts. I found one of them was totally corroded through, unfortunately this was after an hour or so wire brushing the rest of it before I spotted it. Fortunately I have a spare set of pipes in picked up at Newark some years ago, £10 well spent.

We use to have a teacher called Miss Turtle at school, strange woman, but she tortoise well....

Nice tootle out on the 175. Of course it was to my favourite purveyor of bacon butties. Around a 40 mile round trip. Perfect for a sedate tootle in the sunshine. Sat and had a nice chat with a couple of the pilots, meanwhile big blue was attracting a lot of admiring attention and comments. On the way there I had to have a word with myself. I was sat on a lightweight enduro motorcycle shod with trials pattern tyres, not on the VFR with michelin road 6s. My riding was getting quite "spirited" and I had the rear step out on a roundabout as I got the power on too soon as I saw the exit line opening up. Lesson learned. Ride it like it is a 1970s off road bike, not a modern road bike.

Good evening. Still in the lake District

When I did my CBT, it took me a few goes before I finally passed it. I had never ridden or indeed driven before, so being in charge of a motor vehicle, and being on the road, it was all completely new to me. After coming off on a roundabout on my first attempt, the instructor called it a day for me and I ended up going back for some additional one on one training. More time on the bike. More getting used to something new. More building confidence in myself. He himself said after my initial failure that in his view, all I needed was more time on the bike. He was right. He saw my weaknesses and my strengths, saw where I was doing well and where I wasn't, and worked with me to get me not only over the line, as it were, but to give me that confidence to be able to take on the world. You don't just need a good instructor, you need an instructor who is good for you. If things simply aren't clicking with your current one, then find a different one. As for geared or automatics, I would say stick it out and go geared. One of my big sticking points right at the start was gears. I knew, even before I started, that I would have difficulty with them, and I did. I was *this* close to simply tossing the towel in over my frustration with gears, but I persisted. Time, practice, and a bit of tinkering with my bike to move the gear shifter to a more comfortable position for me has worked wonders. Everything is second nature to me now, and it has only been a little over six months. And in that time, I've done close to 5,000 miles on the road in all weathers and at all times of the day and night and have loved every minute! I am in no doubt that if I had a different instructor, I wouldn't be riding or, that I would but would be riding a scooter (no shade to scooter riders, to each their own, but they aren't for me or my portly, middle aged frame) which just isn't for me. Keep at it, look for a different instructor who can work with you and wants you to succeed, and don't be afraid to take things slowly and at your own pace. You've got this!

Finally found and ordered the correct OEM fittings for the 175 tail lamp bracket in Singapore of all places. Not cheap. Perhaps a poor business choice since it is up for sale but I cannot help myself... Besides, the chance of it selling in todays financial climate is slim to non existant, so I still view it as an ongoing project. The flat washers and socket head bolts are wrong. They should be shouldered hex head bolts and cup washers on the tailight and the tail light bracket to the rear fender should be a dome headed nut. I figure that this will make her around 96% original.

I give stickers to my grandchildren. Drives their parents nuts when they have to peel them of the walls.

Met with a few mates and rode to Chester, on to Old Stores, then to Berries in Wrenbury. Cracking weather. I was leading and had an interesting encounter at a T junction when a motorist waited until I was right on the junction before deciding to pull out. I had a feeling she hadn't spotted us so was on the brakes in good time. It became a non-event as I was able to stop before she crossed my line of travel, but her elderly passenger was clearly berating her quite vociferously.

Well, it was a nice day so I thought I'd have another stab at loving the Thunderbird. (To ride, not just to look at). So added it onto the second insurance policy and took it down to SRT for a quick MOT. 74 miles since the last one - a far cry from the 14,000 miles we've put the Explorer through. It passed. So this year's mission is to move house to somewhere with a bigger garage, and buy a big red toolbox for the stickers I keep collecting. And ride the bike more!