RantMachine

One song to the tune of another was always my favorite. Where Did You Get That Hat to the tune of The Dambusters

This video of yours , whenever I see it I can't help thinking that it's Hunter S Thompson and David Hockney but I suspect that it isn't . Mr Lahey, Trailer Park Boys.

Clean with parafin, then Muc-Off chain wax. Put my KLX through the wars with that combo and the chain looked practically brand new when I sold the bike on.

My Lexmoto was a real unreliable heap of junk that broke down pretty much every other weekend. But, I still had great fun riding it and somehow clocked up something like 14,000 miles on it, including a few hundred with a pillion. So... I'm not gonna totally shoot them down. Had fun with mine and I do legit miss it at times. But only get a Lexmoto is you're happy to go through a lot of repairs, and to have to fight them a little to make sure they cover said repairs under the warranty. And be well aware that they have almost zero resale value. Nobody pays good money for a used Chinese bike! Best bet is to write it off and claim on insurance like mine

+1 size doesn't matter all that much, I'm 6'4 and had the CG before Fro, and it worked out just fine! Loved that little thing But, failing that, maybe go for a 125 supermoto or dualsport? WR125 or XR125, depending on budget?

Stealing this for my next team meeting. And for mine... What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

You've got maybe a 5% chance of getting a good one - either make your peace with an unending stream of little repair jobs, or save yourself some misery and give them a miss!

David Silver are the go-to for Kymco parts, they can probably help you work out which carb you have/need! I know BikerMoo used them for spare parts for her Zing a bunch of times. And Petrolhead used them too when he butchered the bike after buying it from her

I know the feeling! Glad to see you're still intermittently around

There's a yank version of this too, my workmates insisted that I take it and apparently I'm either from NYC or Honolulu. Not much between the two I suppose.

Depends on whether it was made in china...

I have a strict policy of not sharing my chocolate digestives unless people refer to them as biscuits. Anyone that asks for a cookie is informed that I don't have any. And to be honest I wouldn't normally share my biscuits at all but I'm trying to train them to speak correctly and have some decorum, and chocolatey biscuity rewards are always a good motivator.

I remember Glorian telling us about the time he cut himself on one of those blunt knives...

Yeah, that's a major factor for me too

They all seem to be focussed on the rich bast*rd market these days. Almost no mention of the budget offerings, no buyers guides, and certainly almost no maintenance tips. The internet is waaaay better for that stuff now. Seems the new magazine mantra is just slap a GS or a Tiger on the cover and a few reviews of Touratech products then call it good!

I've got this one for hiking/camping as a last ditch bear and lion defense Not perfect but her indoors has been awfully strict about not wanting a gun in the house...

BUT.... There is nothing in the states west of you! I'm riding a Harley in Utah, and states west & NW from there in September. Doing a bit of 'Route 66' as a 66 year old biker! @Hoggs Why nothing else in the States? Not my fault you chose to visit the crap states

If you can make it here, we can help you sort something out - few rental places around, who knows might even be able to loan something at some point

Well admittedly that's a more likely outcome. Harder to fend off bike thieves with donuts, but... You can buy a LOT of maple bacon donuts for the price of an AR15.

Only one thing for it, time to pop down to the store and buy a rifle. Oh wait, it's just me that can do that.

Once had a plastic scraping noise as I pulled away on my old Lexmoto - but it just turned out the CDI unit had fallen out the bottom and was dragging on the floor

Should let everyone know which dealership it was so we can all avoid them!

WELP I got ten words into the first post and thought "yeah sounds about right".

KTM do some great folding mirrors. And Chinese knock offs on eBay do them almost as good for much much less.

WOW TFL are a legion of twats.