btobeb Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 Advice please My boyfriends motorbike was stolen awhile back days back - he worked super hard for it and it absolutely crushed him. Things weren’t great for his mental health then, but they’ve definitely slipped even more so now. I’m not in a bad place financially so I lent him some money for a new bike and made sure he was kitted out with security - tracker, locks, and alarms. Since he’s got this new bike he has wanted nothing to do with it. It’s like his passion is completely gone. It has just been chained and covered up in the back garden. He is still taking public transport to work also. Before this happened he was absolutely bike mad, wanted to be an instructor in a few years, wanted to do up project bikes etc. It used to drive me mad, but now I just want the old, motorcycle-loving him back. The police gave a telephone number for victim support, I’ve tried to talk to him about calling it but he won’t have any of it. I just want to make him happy again and bring back his passion. I tried to look into signing him up for those blood bike volunteers, but you need to be 25+, he is 22, also his license only allows him to go up to 500cc. I know time will heal everything but I know the type of bloke he is - he does need a push. Is there anything motorcycle related out there I could push him into? Or possibly anything in general that I could do to make this better for him? thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 Hi and welcome to the forum 6 minutes ago, btobeb said: I could push him into I would stop this! you can't push someone in to it you have to let it happen over time pushing will make things worse Why not ASK him if he fancies the NEC bike show in November for a start 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickly Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 That’s a tough one & unless someone has been through the same experience with the same mind set I’m not sure anyone other than a professional shrink can give a view, but seeing that he seems unwilling to accept that kind of help, here’s a couple of things that might get him back to enjoying his riding.. If you are willing, maybe suggest that you’d love to go a ride out as pillion for a pub lunch or something, nothing too far but some nice country lanes & a river side venue? Secondly organise a ride out with some mates or find a local group he could join? He might not be wanting to commute due to a fear of having the bike stolen again … so maybe a bit of leisure riding will get him back in the mood? …. I am not a mental health professional so I take. I responsibility if the above is a load of bollox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manxie49 Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 Mental health issues are a minefield, getting him to admit that he has a problem is the first hurdle. Once he realises, and is willing to admit to this, then he may be more receptive to getting help. IMHO all you can do is to give encouragement, support, and try and involve him him things that may rekindle his love of motorcycles again. The worse thing you could do is force, coerce, or push him into something he isn't ready for. Crap place to be, and I know we're all different, we all have different coping mechanisms, but with mental health issues I would always recommend professional intervention. Words of wisdom from friends and good meaning advice from people like me on forums is no substitute for help from people who know what they're talking about .... Hope it all turns out ok for you both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiddlesticks Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 Mrs. Fiddlesticks is an experienced therapist and agrees with the above. Best to let him talk it through in his own time. Don't underestimate the power of a sympathetic and understanding ear. All the best to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 Get him to join this forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeHorton Posted September 10, 2022 Share Posted September 10, 2022 Indeed a tricky thing time can be the best healer the time in between being very hard. Victim support are very helpful indeed but like everything he has to want to speak to someone. Best wishes for yoy both. Nothing more personal than being a victim of crime a total invasion of your privacy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick67 Posted September 11, 2022 Share Posted September 11, 2022 Sounds like a good idea by Mickly to go for a short ride to somewhere nice and local together for lunch, maybe get out in the garden together and do something with the bike like cleaning it etc will help motivate him. Talking is good when the time is right ask him how he feels and see how it goes, sorry I cant be more help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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