curlylegend Posted May 28 Share Posted May 28 Thanks Fiddlesticks, won't try and kick the cat today. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JRH Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Yorky Posted June 16 Popular Post Share Posted June 16 1 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Davey Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery. Daffy turns to Elmer and says: “Is this Whiskey?” Elmer says: “Yeth but not as withky as wobbing a bank!!” 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 2 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerontious Posted Monday at 18:58 Share Posted Monday at 18:58 (edited) Edited Tuesday at 05:12 by Gerontious 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_M Posted Wednesday at 19:36 Share Posted Wednesday at 19:36 I can only apologise in advance… 1. Just ate a frozen apple. Hardcore. 2. Bought a litre of Tipp-Ex yesterday. Huge mistake. 3. I've started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof. 4. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. 5. I tried to catch some fog today but I mist. 6. I bought a dog from my local blacksmith. When I got it home it made a bolt for the door. 7. Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought. 8. Just watched a wildlife documentary on beavers. Best dam programme I've seen in a long time. 9. Jokes about German sausage are the Wurst. 10. I was trying to explain puns to my kleptomaniac friend today, but she kept taking things literally. 11. I stole a rabbit today. Then I had to make a run for it. 12. A woman told me she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore 13. Just got a job playing triangle in a reggae band. I stand at the back and ting. 14. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. 15. My wife told me I was a fool to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta. 16. Just watched a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting. 17. I used to have a problem where I couldn’t stop naming classic American sitcoms, but I’m over it now. Happy Days. 18. My wife's working in a bowling alley. Ten pin? No, permanent. 19. Police just caught a man stealing 50 helium balloons. They had to let him go. 20. How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese? Caerphilly. 21. Jokes about opticians just get cornea and cornea. 22. A steak pun is a rare medium well done. 23. I was walking the dogs the other day when all of a sudden they vanished into thin air. Not sure where they went, but I've got some leads. 24. Did you know that owls can't breed in the rain? It's too wet to woo. 25. When my wife told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo, I decided to put my foot down 26. Dad: I’ve just been diagnosed with Tom Jones syndrome. Mum: Is it common? Dad: It's Not Unusual 27. My wife asked me if I could please stop singing 'Wonderwall'. I said maybe. 3 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Davey Posted Wednesday at 21:20 Share Posted Wednesday at 21:20 Very good, I enjoyed those. I can imagine Tommy Cooper telling some of those. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curlylegend Posted Wednesday at 21:22 Share Posted Wednesday at 21:22 1 minute ago, Simon Davey said: Very good, I enjoyed those. I can imagine Tommy Cooper telling some of those. Or Chick Murray.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Davey Posted Wednesday at 21:31 Share Posted Wednesday at 21:31 I just looked him up and watched this He could teach elocution to most of Britain 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curlylegend Posted 22 hours ago Share Posted 22 hours ago 23 hours ago, Simon Davey said: I just looked him up and watched this He could teach elocution to most of Britain Droll in the extreme, sadly missed. I'm sure it was Chic Murray who told us that a horse went into a bar and the barman asked "Why the long face ?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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