Your worst joke!!!

[onesea]

[billysugger]

I'm being driven mental by the local God bothered knocking on the door, to the point I just ignore them. There's a methodist in my madness 

[daveinlim]

[billysugger]

Is Canadian music based on loggerrhythms

Edited April 26 by billysugger

[husoi]

[husoi]

[husoi]

When i say:

 

"If I need your opinion, I'll phoking ask for it."

 

Doesn't mean you become my sex advisor

[husoi]

[V650]

Could have been told before but here goes

 

I asked my wife am I the only one ?

She said yes all the others were a 9 or 10

 

 

Edited May 3 by V650

[billysugger]

Been watching the news, and it's mostly been Donald Trump. That guy is so shallow, if he was a puddle you couldn't drown in it

[Simon Davey]

Swiped this from a Strom forum...

 

 

 

Edited May 8 by Simon Davey

[Simon Davey]

My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"
I replied, "No..."
She responded: "How about now?"

[Simon Davey]

We use to have a teacher called Miss Turtle at school, strange woman, but she tortoise well....

[bonio]

@Stu We could really do with a groan button.

[S-Westerly]

1 hour ago, bonio said:

@Stu We could really do with a groan button.

Well there is the "sad" option and some of the jokes on here are pretty damned "sad".

[billysugger]

To the tune of a Dido song.

I could go down with these hips

And my knees won't work for much longer

The need to go and have a wee, 

has now become much stronger

Now I'm getting older

I get pain in my shoulder 

[billysugger]

And now, the time has come, to take on new adventures 

It's time to see a dentist, and get a set of dentures

I need to ditch the jeans, and get some loose fit trousers,

And now, like villages everywhere, I'm in need of a bypass

[onesea]

[daveinlim]

I was sitting on the bed pulling off my boxers when my wife walked in and said you spoil them dogs. 

[Simon Davey]

Took a while to get that