Your worst joke!!!

[billysugger]

I was walking back from the local shops,through a little wooded area, and there was a van blocking my way, With some guys all dressed in hi viz gear and toting harnesses stood next to it. Are you tree surgeons I asked? No they said, there's only two of us

Edited May 22 by billysugger

[onesea]

I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at a bank later and if everything goes well, I will be out of debt. I'm so excited I can barely put my balaclava on.

[husoi]

[bonio]

If only retiring actually worked like that. The only fuss they made of me was to send me a letter saying if I didn't send my laptop back, they'd dock the cost from my pay. At least they paid the postage, I guess.

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

14 hours ago, bonio said:

If only retiring actually worked like that. The only fuss they made of me was to send me a letter saying if I didn't send my laptop back, they'd dock the cost from my pay. At least they paid the postage, I guess.

Now there's a novel idea, a company that provides you with a laptop necessary to do your job. I have to provide my own. 

[JRH]

54 minutes ago, Mississippi Bullfrog said:

Now there's a novel idea, a company that provides you with a laptop necessary to do your job. I have to provide my own. 

Of course, the good thing is that you don’t have to give it back when you retire.

[S-Westerly]

Be tempted to give it back with a suitably nasty virus.

[bonio]

8 hours ago, Mississippi Bullfrog said:

Now there's a novel idea, a company that provides you with a laptop necessary to do your job. I have to provide my own. 

Wow, that's rubbish - your company is a bit shoddy there. On the other hand, it does provide unbeatable after-life benefits

[Grumpy Old Git]

I had a work laptop and mobile phone which I had to return on retiring.

 

I kept the mouse mat!

 

[husoi]

I worked for a company that will remain unnamed that the day I handed my resignation they asked me to handover everything and I wasn't working for them anymore.

Got paid the notice period and managed to start with another company immediately