skyrider Posted August 29, 2019 Posted August 29, 2019 well there is as much chance of him ending up in front of the beak as his old lady over the diana business Quote
BIKERDAD Posted August 31, 2019 Posted August 31, 2019 Wow was the queen one of the ones riding the scooters or was she driving the white car that magically disappeared.... Quote
MikeHorton Posted September 3, 2019 Posted September 3, 2019 Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall?Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.Sergeant: Color of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.Sergeant: Color of hair?Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.Sergeant: What was she wearing?Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?Husband: She actually went on my dirt bike...Sergeant: What kind of bike was it? Husband: (sobbing)It's a new 2019 Kawasaki KX450 in lime green with a Liquid-cooled, 4-stroke Single engine, 449 cm³ displacement, 96 x 62.1 mm Bore x stroke with Compression ratio of 12.5:1. DOHC 4 valve, Forced lubrication, semi‑dry sump. Front suspension; 49 mm inverted telescopic fork with adjustable compression and rebound damping. Rear; New Uni-Trak with adjustable dual-range (high/lowspeed). Front brakes are Single semi-floating 270 mm petal disc. Caliper: Dual-piston. Rear brakes are Single 250 mm petal disc. Caliper: Single-piston. 5-speed transmission, Primary Reduction Ratio of 2.727 (60/22). Wet multi-disc manual clutch. Perimeter, aluminum frame, 122 mm trail, 305mm front wheel travel, 307 for the rear. Front tyre: 80/100-21 51M and rear 120/80-19 63M. Steering angle, left / right 42° / 42° L x W x H 2,185 x 830 x 1,275 mm Wheelbase 1,485 mm Ground clearance 340 mm Fuel capacity 6.2 litres Seat height 955 mm Curb mass 110.0 kg... (continues to cry). Sergeant:Don't worry mate. We'll find your bike. It was half funny the 1st time posted . .. I'll post it a again see if its only 1/3 as funny Purely for research purposes lol. Yawn! Quote
Guest Posted September 9, 2019 Posted September 9, 2019 What's the most dangerous part of a motorcycle?The nut that connects the seat to the handlebar. Quote
Smithers Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 I lay upon a grassy bankMy hands were all a quiverI slowly undid her suspender beltAnd her leg fell in the river. - a poem by Sir Paul McCartney Quote
learningtofly Posted September 17, 2019 Posted September 17, 2019 A man is getting a checkup.Doctor: "You have to stop masturbating."Man: "Why?"Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you." Quote
onesea Posted September 19, 2019 Posted September 19, 2019 Anybody can masturbate under a sheet but it takes skill to do it without the Barbour noticing. Quote
Six30 Posted September 25, 2019 Posted September 25, 2019 When you go to the fancy dress as song title ..... Quote
BIKERDAD Posted September 25, 2019 Posted September 25, 2019 lol bet every guy !! Danced !! To it .. . Quote
Smithers Posted October 1, 2019 Posted October 1, 2019 What did little weed say after giving Bill and Ben a BJ?"flobalobalob" Quote
Stu Posted October 7, 2019 Posted October 7, 2019 The wife just asked me what I was doing on the computer, I said "LOOKING FOR CHEAP FLIGHTS" she got very excited and said "I LOVE YOU" then got on her knees and gave me the best blow job I ever had!!Which surprised me as she'd never been in to darts before!! Quote
Stu Posted October 8, 2019 Posted October 8, 2019 "If you win the lottery, the first thing I want you to get me is a face lift and a boob job," said my 45 year old wife as I was checking my ticket."Well, actually, the first thing I would buy is a reconditioned engine and a respray for my Mondeo," I replied."Why would you waste your money tarting that old thing up, you might as well get yourself a new one," she said.............."My point exactly." Quote
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