Mickly

Have you actually read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? It’s bloody hard work !!

Took Zippy on its first green lane expedition - what could go wrong? HS2 that’s what can go wrong, 5 mins into the ride I came across this: no signs at the beginning of the trail and nothing advising as to which way to go: B*stards So I took a left turn and followed a path made by walkers skirting a farmer’s field, only at the point they got back on the track they obviously were able to step over the black plastic barrier - I couldn’t do this but managed to get through it - no pictures as they could be incriminating Further down another section I came across this: what is wrong with people? These were sawn branches deliberately strewn across the track. Probably not a great idea to do this after a period of heavy rain, things got a bit muddy: I ought to get some proper kit before doing this again, don’t think my Alpinestars SMX-5’s are really up to the job. All in all a couple of pleasant hours, worked up a good sweat, but in hindsight doing it with a mate would’ve been better as I would have not been so tentative through the muddy stuff knowing that I’d have help if I f*ckd it up … oh and some better tyres.

Let me know what you think of it.

Even worse when you kneel on an escaped screw

Bloody Pikey

Put the camper up for sale on Autotrader, immediately got calls from bloody Pikeys asking how much for cash today, no other questions. One of them phoned twice and tried to deny, then got abusive when I called him out. I told the first one I wasn’t gonna let him chip me with a shit offer so he could flip it immediately for a profit, he hung up.

I don’t argue, I just wind them up, eg when they say ‘’it’s a Government conspiracy’’ I say ‘surely it’s the Illuminati that are pulling the Government strings’’ and off they go … My eldest son is full of that kind of shit, but he’s stopped saying it to me, coz he knows what’s coming, so job done I’d say

I absolutely love it when someone starts spouting off with a conspiracy theory, I feign interest and ask lots of questions to see how long it takes them to realise that I’m winding them up, although this can sometimes be exhausting as they are so firmly embedded up their own backside they cannot see further than the sh*te they believe

Users on social media and other forum-like sites that think they are too good & it is beneath them to use the search function when lower beings could just post a link to something that could help, entitled w*nkers like that boil my piss !!

You sure you didn’t drag that out of the local cut?

Here’s our set up Says it’s a 4 person job, 4 fookin midgets

My good lady delegated to me

I’m camping overnight in the garden with youngest granddaughter (10yo) Its gonna piss down with 40mph winds, so I put up the borrowed tent today during a dry spell. Hopefully she’ll enjoy the experience & not bail out at 02:00.

So … I went to go for a spin on the BMW F650GS and the battery was as flat as a witches t*t, I reckon I left it in park … again !! Got me thinking, the switch positions on this bike, from the top going anticlockwise are ‘On’ ‘Off’ ‘Park’ ‘Lock’ Is that usual? I’m sure I’m used to it being ‘On’ ‘Off’ ‘Lock’ ‘Park’ ( like on the Speedtriple) what’s the sequence on fellow TMBF’s bikes? Are BMW unique in this sequence?

@Stu, I remembered that @Hoggs had created a GPX file of this years tags, so I've managed to upload that into MyRoute, very useful, ta. BTW how do you mark a post with 'Solution Found' ?

Ha, @Stu after much dicking about I've found it

Hi @Stu How do you set motorway avoidance in this app?

Update, TV repair man came up trumps and fixed it, he recommended not using any kind of adhesive as if it goes again I’d be b*lloxd. Got it all back together & it’s running as sweet as an old neglected bike can do. After a bit I noticed that the revs were rising on full right lock, so reckoned I might have compromised the throttle cable routing while it was all apart, so undid it all again sorted the throttle cable and hey presto no issues….. but you just know it’s not happy ever after. I took it out for a spin to pick up a close-ish tag a 50 mile round trip, (the furthest I’ve been on it) and after a good run it stalled at an island after a swift dual carriageway run, it started straight away but continued to stall when revs dropped to idle, also it would occasionally cough on acceleration & the rev counter would spin up before settling down again, this was a git in stop start traffic. Took it apart yet again and found that the throttle wasn’t closing fully as there was about a 3mm gap between the mechanism & the throttle stop, much gnashing of teeth & rude words ensued as I yet again rerouted the cable until the throttle opened fully & snapped shut properly, put it all back together yet again & took it out for a ride this morning for a couple of hours & now all is relatively good again.

I’ll give it a crack, thanks.

It’s a very therapeutic process, just remember that you won’t make any money on it, the deficit between cost & selling price is the amount you have paid for the fun of doing it

Thanks, I’ve got Basecamp but find it a bit clunky, which is why I’m trying to import a map created in Google Maps I take it that Basecamp won’t recalculate the route using its own algorithm & stick to the original, just without Motorways?

Garmin Zumo 590