S-Westerly

Well yes but the question was chocolate not puddings.

Well dry January can go an eff itself. I'm working my way through a bottle of Woodford Reserve and then I've got two bottles of good rum to get through. Not all at once you understand.

The only time chocolate should be in the fridge is if its so warm its starts melting outside. A rare occurrence in the UK.

My house is completely dumb, much like me. Nothing connected to anything, no apps controlling anything and no TV either. Somehow we manage to struggle on with light switches and such. A real hardship so it is.

I'm a once a year man for fish and chips but for me the essential question is what do you put on them? Posh people add tartar sauce, heathens put salt and vinegar while civilised peasants add tomato sauce.

What's all this mixing perfectly good bread with cake? Down south so far as I know they just call them buns unless they are posh in which case it's rolls. Of course real men eat stotties.

Aha! The truth is out! What you"re really talking about is a barm bread! Any fool knows that's the real name for such a delicacy. Only daft Yorkshiremen could get cakes into what is obviously a kind of bread. Barbarians.

WTF is a breadcake? Cant be a thing. You can have bread, you can have cake but in one thing? Only a tyke could come up with that!

My dad did a runner from the Catholic Church. He was sent to a seminary run by the Christian Brothers and was supposed to become a priest. He ran away to sea and then had the temerity to later marry a protestant. Family relations were quite strained for many years.

Turkey's not on the list and I think he's been there for more than 14 days so he should be okay. That's why my C1/D visa has a newly issued addition which says I'm exempt from those Presidential Proclamations. Still have to jump through hoops going to the US and a holiday wouldn't be considered.

And Turkish Airlines are quite cheap too if I remember correctly. Winner.

Now that is a sensible idea. I'd look at something along those lines if I was looking for bike transport. Some of the larger ones would be just the thing.

I thought the US had banned flights/ Brits entering? I know I has to get a special endorsement on my visa just before Xmas.

Only if you ride in assless chaps.

Speaking as a wider rider I suspect you're right.

What exactly is apple leather if I may ask?

I suppose piranhas would have been too lethal. Still dangling a few bits in might have been fun.

Byker? Used to go fishing off the pier in Blyth - it wasn't that bad.

Hmm, Port au Prince, Haiti before the earthquake was pretty poor, wouldn't like to guess now. Pointe Noire Congo with the dead bodies wafting up and down on the tide was quite a low light as well. Paradip, Karachi, Caracas now, and any number of other hell holes cross my mind.

Basically he just said "Alexa play fart song". And away she went. I suggest discretion if trying it out as I was telling my son and when I said the magic words it started playing.

Oooh, on a planetary level there's much, much worse than Croydon.

Serves the smug bugger right!

My youngest grandson gets Alexa to play the fart song. What is it with 8 year old boys and farts that reduces them to giggling heaps?

I haven't been 60 kg since I was about 12. Even at my fittest when I could do an army route March in full kit I weighed 83 kg and there wasn't any fat on me then. Now sadly I'm about 106 kg but down from my worst of 4 years ago.

I only wish.....