MarkW Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 My father-in-law has invited us for lunch at his golf club next weekend, and in typical fashion this otherwise pleasant invitation was marred slightly by his complete inability not to be an ar*ehole for five minutes at a stretch, ending as it did with the line "Please make sure you all respect the club rules and dress appropriately: no jeans."It always makes me laugh that golf clubs enforce dress codes, as golfing attire has to rank alongside the shell suit for its sheer tastelessness and naffness. And can there be any more imbecillic or inadequate way of maintaining 'standards' than on the basis of what trousers people are wearing? I know that at least one member of his golf club has a criminal record for GBH against women and on occasion also children, but as long as he turns up in some chinos, and doubtless also a wankerish Pringle sweater, they'll welcome him with fawning and obsequious servility whilst turning me and my jeans away at the door. I did think about declining his invitation on the basis that I can wear my jeans to the local Michelin-starred restaurant where the food is a bloody sight better than at his club, but I think instead I'm going to hire some plus fours and a f*cking tam-o-shanter and turn up looking like the reincarnation of Payne Stewart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTIwMFg5MjU=/z/sv0AAOSwYshUY~uw/$_3.JPG?set_id=2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
learningtofly Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Spandex?http://www.spandex4men.com/Images/LiquidRunnersHome.jpg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 They want dress code I would go buy a nice evening dress and turn up with heels to match, I'm sue the wife will help you out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mississippi Bullfrog Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 I once took a group of Nigerian seafarers to a swimming pool. When they marched into the poolside in cut down jeans the guard blew his whistle and told them not to wear cut downs in the pool.So they stripped off and dived in.I ran for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-Westerly Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Many years ago my wife and I went out mid-week to a restaurant. As it was also January it was pretty quiet. I was not allowed in because I was not wearing a tie. My wife was wearing a dress with a belt made of fabric and when I tied that found my neck I was allowed in. To this day I absolutely despise wearing a tie - a more pointless item of clothing it would be hard to find. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mississippi Bullfrog Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Many years ago my wife and I went out mid-week to a restaurant. As it was also January it was pretty quiet. I was not allowed in because I was not wearing a tie. My wife was wearing a dress with a belt made of fabric and when I tied that found my neck I was allowed in. To this day I absolutely despise wearing a tie - a more pointless item of clothing it would be hard to find. I can get into anywhere without a tie, the fussiest of restaurants, the poshest of parties and even the House of Lords on occasions. It's called a dog collar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Leave the wife at home and turn up with 4 prostitutes .... tell him you've come as Tiger woods . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Many years ago my wife and I went out mid-week to a restaurant. As it was also January it was pretty quiet. I was not allowed in because I was not wearing a tie. My wife was wearing a dress with a belt made of fabric and when I tied that found my neck I was allowed in. To this day I absolutely despise wearing a tie - a more pointless item of clothing it would be hard to find. I can get into anywhere without a tie, the fussiest of restaurants, the poshest of parties and even the House of Lords on occasions. It's called a dog collar. Has it got big spikes going round it , I got one of them , wouldn't wear it out .... although if it gets you in places . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 My father-in-law has invited us for lunch at his golf club next weekend, and in typical fashion this otherwise pleasant invitation was marred slightly by his complete inability not to be an ar*ehole for five minutes at a stretch, ending as it did with the line "Please make sure you all respect the club rules and dress appropriately: no jeans."It always makes me laugh that golf clubs enforce dress codes, as golfing attire has to rank alongside the shell suit for its sheer tastelessness and naffness. And can there be any more imbecillic or inadequate way of maintaining 'standards' than on the basis of what trousers people are wearing? I know that at least one member of his golf club has a criminal record for GBH against women and on occasion also children, but as long as he turns up in some chinos, and doubtless also a wankerish Pringle sweater, they'll welcome him with fawning and obsequious servility whilst turning me and my jeans away at the door. I did think about declining his invitation on the basis that I can wear my jeans to the local Michelin-starred restaurant where the food is a bloody sight better than at his club, but I think instead I'm going to hire some plus fours and a f*cking tam-o-shanter and turn up looking like the reincarnation of Payne Stewart. If it offends you that much, just don't go. If you're taking the long view.........how far do you wanna bend over? Up to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rob m Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Just go...or don't. It's your choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Just go...or don't. It's your choice. Where would the fun be in that, I would sooner go and be annoying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raesewell Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 What's wrong with dressing smart once in a while Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-Westerly Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 What's wrong with dressing smart once in a while Define 'smart'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raesewell Posted December 2, 2018 Share Posted December 2, 2018 Opposite to scruffy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bianco2564 Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Sounds to me its more about your relationship with the dad in law that some pretentious club rule.If your best mate invited you somewhere that required smart dress code would you object?Just put some trousers on ,go to the meal and enjoy the biggest steak you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerontious Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 He does good drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozzie Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Just do what I do and say "I can't adhere to that dress code due to my religious beliefs"I'd say roughly 60% of the time they panic and let you in without a blind bit of critical thought. And it's because the world we live in has some nervous they'd end up on a hysteric facebook post that would go viral and end in them getting sacked and death threats from the "tolerant progressive millenials".In short, weaponize social trends Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tango Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 My jeans cost more than my DJ......admittedly my DJ was secondhand..... Had a work Black Tie do on Friday night......free beer though, so it was worth dressing up for..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkW Posted December 4, 2018 Author Share Posted December 4, 2018 There's a retro shop in town with a few rails of 1970s gents tailoring. This could be the perfect opportunity to have a rummage and see what I can find. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Ohhh my Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Pics of the final outfit please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkW Posted December 4, 2018 Author Share Posted December 4, 2018 Sounds to me its more about your relationship with the dad in law that some pretentious club rule.If your best mate invited you somewhere that required smart dress code would you object? I just find dress codes in general pretentious and silly, and especially when they are issued by golf clubs whose members regularly despoil the place in some of the most tasteless and vulgar garments available to the public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowlycatchymonkey Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Tight Lycra cycling gear soaked in sweat and a thick layer of white zinc sunscreen always seems to go down well especially during the summer when fly have committed suicide in it and your face looks like a sh*tty piece of fly paper. Wrong time of year for the latter part but I suppose you could raid the collecting tray of a UV bug zapper and strategically place some fat ones here n there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeilM Posted December 4, 2018 Share Posted December 4, 2018 Dress codes in night clubs make me laugh nowadays.There isn't any!!!!!None. Zilch. Nada. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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