Household Finances

[Tiggie]

I was speaking to someone earlier and long story short he said he couldn't buy a new Radio for his car that he wants as he didn't have enough money without borrowing from his Wife and would have to pay her back at end of the month 

They have been married nearly 15 years and have completely separate finances. They split all bills in the house (Pay half rent, half to electric etc)

 

I can understand that kind of arrangement for people who are newly seeing each other, just moved in together etc but 15 years married!!  Is it just me or is this completely crazy?

 

I am the complete opposite and I literally let my Wife take care of everything, All our money goes into the same account and she sorts all bills, food from it. I completely trust her and quite honestly I can't even remember the last time I saw a bank statement 

 

As long as my card doesn't get declined when I go to a shop and bailiffs don't show up at the house I'm happy 

 

 

[James in Brum]

We have completely shared finances and accounts. We each get pocket money but to be honest that always gets spent covering communal life anyway. 

[S-Westerly]

Same, joint account for everything we earn. All bills are paid by direct debit so the system basically looks after itself. Anything left over gets paid into the pension fund ( get that KiwiBob?)

[rennie]

We've both been married before, both ran our own finances etc. before we met

so We've still got separate accounts and our own responsibilities, phone bills, car insurance etc.

We do frequently "lend" each other money! (in reality more like trying to balance several accounts)

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

Joint account with separate accounts for pocket money. An arrangement I highly recommend because it totally removes the need/desire to justify spending on something the other one doesn’t appreciate. Pocket money is yours to waste or save no questions asked. This set up leads to guilt free spending (or not it’s up to you alone what you do with it) so for example today new training gear turned up for my husband, he’s happy and says “What do you think of my new gear?” I say “very nice, it suits you” this enhances his enjoyment and he’s even smilier. But if it wasnt his pocket money and it was coming out of the joint account I’d be saying “how much was it? why do you need more training gear, you have loads” Id be thinking about wasting money we could be saving. With pocket money all’s good, it’s a win win. 

[Tiggie]

My Wife lets me have pocket money occasionally if thats what you mean 

 

We are pretty lucky in that her wage covers all the bills and mine gets used for food and less essential purchases. Thankfully the days of us living off my old wage as a night shift worker at a petrol station while she was at Uni studying Midwifery are over with. That was a looooong 4 years!! 

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

2 minutes ago, Tiggie said:

My Wife lets me have pocket money occasionally if thats what you mean 

 

We are pretty lucky in that her wage covers all the bills and mine gets used for food and less essential purchases. Thankfully the days of us living off my old wage as a night shift worker at a petrol station while she was at Uni studying Midwifery are over with. That was a looooong 4 years!! 

Still bites when you think back to it though doesn’t it. When I think back to having no money I wonder how we managed, I’d probably struggle to believe where I am now.. and think I was wasteful, I can’t imagine previous me approving of having more than one bike

[Tiggie]

It really does. I'm glad the days of cashing in my jar of coppers are gone!  Gina (Wife) and I were discussing this a while ago and said that one thing we are both really grateful for is being in a position where if the Fridge or Washing machine packs in its not the end of the world like it used to be, just an inconvenience.  

 

Back in the day if I couldn't fix it we would have to beg steal or borrow one from family or friends. The ones we had were usually hand me downs from her parents when they upgraded as it was anyway 

 

Nowadays we would grumble about the cost but be able to get another without breaking the bank at least. That is something to be thankful for 

 

 

[husoi]

Been on both sides and perfectly understand why people have separate accounts.

I don't think I will have a joint account again.

I'm very good at keeping bills down, making sure all are paid on time, reasonable use of credit cards (the ones in my name).

I make sure there is some left for holidays or other pampering.

There are some tasks that I don't delegate.

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

8 hours ago, Tiggie said:

It really does. I'm glad the days of cashing in my jar of coppers are gone!  Gina (Wife) and I were discussing this a while ago and said that one thing we are both really grateful for is being in a position where if the Fridge or Washing machine packs in its not the end of the world like it used to be, just an inconvenience.  

 

Back in the day if I couldn't fix it we would have to beg steal or borrow one from family or friends. The ones we had were usually hand me downs from her parents when they upgraded as it was anyway 

 

Nowadays we would grumble about the cost but be able to get another without breaking the bank at least. That is something to be thankful for 

 

 

Changes your mindset forever.
I’ve never shaken off the feeling when I have takeaway it’s an extravagance. I can eat in a restaurant without thinking “I shouldn’t be doing this” because restaurants just didn’t happen during that time but a rare take away did. Decided on Tuesday we’re having fish n chips from the chip shop for lunch friday and I’ve had the feeling I’m doing something bad since then!

Edited January 7, 2021 by Slowlycatchymonkey

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

We have separate accounts for personal use and a joint account for household bills. My wife earns peanuts so we share funds for personal things.

 

The biggest issue is pension because that went down the drain some years back. In 2008, just before the crash, we cashed in what was left in the fund and put into a terraced house that we rent. The rent covers the mortgage which means that when I retire (in my job that's towards 75 these days, see lack of pension), we shall have somewhere to live. We live in tied housing that goes with the job so retirement isn't something to look forward to.

 

I only have the Bobber because of a legacy, which means it has to last me until I float down the river in a blazing boat. No, it didn't make sense to blow it on a bike but I didn't want to get to the end of my life regretting not living life to the full. 

 

The thing at the moment is that my wife's job ends in March and our budget runs out of reserves at the end of this year so who knows what happens after that. Not sure what jobs are going at my age. Not quite ready to be a lollipop man just yet.

 

I could worry but what's the point? Something has always turned up so far.

[MarkW]

9 hours ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said:

Still bites when you think back to it though doesn’t it. When I think back to having no money I wonder how we managed, I’d probably struggle to believe where I am now.. and think I was wasteful, I can’t imagine previous me approving of having more than one bike

A few years ago my wife and I were having a clear out and came across our old bank statements from when we first started work. We sat there flicking through them thinking 'How the hell did we survive?'  Neither of us had good salaries then, and with student loans to repay on top of renting in a pretty expensive part of the country we were both overdrawn all the time. We got a joint account at first just to halve the bank charges! We've had it ever since, and it works brilliantly for us. 

[NeilM]

Both turn over.

Joint accounts for everything.  Give each other spend each month (beer tokens) worked for 21 year now.

 

And yes. I still think take aways and eating out is extravagant and probably always will. Can't shake it off.

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

30 minutes ago, MarkW said:

A few years ago my wife and I were having a clear out and came across our old bank statements from when we first started work. We sat there flicking through them thinking 'How the hell did we survive?'  Neither of us had good salaries then, and with student loans to repay on top of renting in a pretty expensive part of the country we were both overdrawn all the time. We got a joint account at first just to halve the bank charges! We've had it ever since, and it works brilliantly for us. 

Had similar experience clearing out old bank statements. At the time we were potless I always thought I was doing something wrong, like it shouldn’t be so hard and I must somehow just need to be better with money, to the extent I felt like it must somehow be my fault. Then a few years ago I saw the bank statements, I have no idea how we paid the mortgage and ate. It was therapeutic reading the statements, I’d carried that feeling I was incompetent with money around for a very long time. 
Not that I’m great with money now but incompetent, no. 

[Bender]

Same as @Tiggie we just have money, I don't even know half the passwords, even the granddaughter told me one of them last time I was trying to do something, worryingly she knows my debit card pin too.

 

 

My x on the other hand was not to be trusted going to mc'd with a fiver, I learnt that the very expensive way.

[S-Westerly]

Old Bank accounts are depressing. Particularly when interest rates were so high. Our first mortgage was 15% and after a year of paying the capital debt had decreased by something like £3. On the plus side the mortgage was only 35k. Of course now I have no mortgage and if interest rates were even 5% could retire comfortably. Instead they are a paltry 1% ! Bitter? Not much.

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

20 minutes ago, S-Westerly said:

Old Bank accounts are depressing. Particularly when interest rates were so high. Our first mortgage was 15% and after a year of paying the capital debt had decreased by something like £3. On the plus side the mortgage was only 35k. Of course now I have no mortgage and if interest rates were even 5% could retire comfortably. Instead they are a paltry 1% ! Bitter? Not much.

It’ll get better, she says with no clue. 

[S-Westerly]

9 minutes ago, Slowlycatchymonkey said:

It’ll get better, she says with no clue. 

I used to think that too, but with the arrival of covid I have a slightly more pessimistic view of the future.  "We're  all doomed, doomed I tell ye". 

[Slowlycatchymonkey]

6 minutes ago, S-Westerly said:

I used to think that too, but with the arrival of covid I have a slightly more pessimistic view of the future.  "We're  all doomed, doomed I tell ye". 

It’s cast doubt on a lot of people’s planned futures hasn’t it. Mine also. Just have to wait n see what it throws up, we have no choice in the matter. You will definitely stop work at some point though, hopefully sooner rather than later!

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

I can remember when we had some cash and our insurance company was trying to get us to invest it for a fixed term at the fixed rate. It was back in the very early 90's when interest rates were 13-14% - and I dithered whether it was worth doing. Not my finest hour.

 

[S-Westerly]

I'd not want to pile that sort of interest rate grief on to the younger generation as they have a fair pile of crap to deal with already. 5% though, that'd do me.

[husoi]

The thing is, back in the time before internet we didn't had the chance to become a "influencer" (whatever that crap means) and make 1,000's  a day just to talk to a computer spending hours talking rubbish...

[onesea]

I did the joint account thing, savings the whole lot in marriage, when divorce cam along legal advice was don't touch a penny of it so she took the cash the house the lot...

My present partner/ Fiancé we have separate everything for 10 years+  it works well.  Sadly recent chat about getting married (lockdown restricted numbers restricted cost was my thinking), she revealed another reason we will probably never marry.  She fears a change in government rules and my X being able to take more of a chunk of our money.

Sadly having looked into it I cannot see her fears as unreasonable.
 

[Bender]

Things work differently for everyone, there is no one size fits all.

[Guest]

38 minutes ago, Bender said:

Things work differently for everyone, there is no one size fits all.

 

Agree.

 

Had separate accounts with my ex-wife, and share everything with my new wife. Can't say it's made any difference to me (materially or psychologically) but understand why people need differing arrangements. 

Edited January 7, 2021 by Guest
Grammar.