Six30 Posted July 23, 2019 Posted July 23, 2019 67246804_1135726476619877_2364424907137220608_n.jpg Yeh Corbyn is a c^#t . Quote
Mickly Posted July 24, 2019 Posted July 24, 2019 I was product testing the new Apple gesture control system.It was going well until I wanted to browse some porn, I gave it the W*nkers hand signal & this popped up. Apparently it’s not a bug !! Quote
Smithers Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 [Heard on the radio today]..Man walks into a hardware store and asks for some nails. Assistant asks him how long does he want them. Man says; well I was hoping to keep them.How daft..love it. Quote
onesea Posted August 2, 2019 Posted August 2, 2019 Witnessed totally disgusting behaviour on the beach in Boscombe: man and woman arguing in front of a load of kids, then she smacked him one on the head and it all kicked off between them, the police turned up and the policeman ended up using his truncheon on the bloke but the man actually managed to get the truncheon off the copper and started hitting the copper and the woman with it! Absolute Madness...Then a crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages ... Quote
skyrider Posted August 3, 2019 Posted August 3, 2019 I bet they all had their own little tent too Quote
BIKERDAD Posted August 5, 2019 Posted August 5, 2019 I bet they all had their own little tent too We know the sort mobile tent . Typical behaviour of them mobile sorts Quote
Baldrick Posted August 12, 2019 Posted August 12, 2019 Husband:My wife is missing.She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...Sergeant at Police Station:What is her height?Husband:I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall?Sergeant:Weight?Husband:Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.Sergeant:Color of eyes?Husband:Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.Sergeant:Color of hair?Husband:Changes a couple times a year.Maybe dark brown now.I can’t remember.Sergeant:What was she wearing?Husband:Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.Sergeant:What kind of car did she go in?Husband:She actually went on my bike...Sergeant:What kind of bike was it?Husband: (sobbing)It's a new 2019 Kawasaki KX450 in lime green with a Liquid-cooled, 4-stroke Single engine, 449 cm³ displacement, 96 x 62.1 mm Bore x stroke with Compression ratio of 12.5:1. DOHC 4 valve, Forced lubrication, semi‑dry sump. Front suspension; 49 mm inverted telescopic fork with adjustable compression and rebound damping. Rear; New Uni-Trak with adjustable dual-range (high/low speed). Front brakes are Single semi-floating 270 mm petal disc. Caliper: Dual-piston. Rear brakes are Single 250 mm petal disc. Caliper: Single-piston. 5-speed transmission, Primary Reduction Ratio of 2.727 (60/22). Wet multi-disc manual clutch. Perimeter, aluminum frame, 122 mm trail, 305mm front wheel travel, 307 for the rear. Front tyre: 80/100-21 51M and rear 120/80-19 63M. Steering angle, left / right 42° / 42° L x W x H 2,185 x 830 x 1,275 mm Wheelbase 1,485 mm Ground clearance 340 mm Fuel capacity 6.2 litres Seat height 955 mm Curb mass 110.0 kg... (continues to cry).Sergeant:Don't worry mate. We'll find your bike. Quote
Guest Posted August 13, 2019 Posted August 13, 2019 my favourite joke...what do you call a spider with no legs?a raisin Quote
Six30 Posted August 13, 2019 Posted August 13, 2019 I was comforting a midget prostitute who was telling me her sad life and I put my hand on the middle of her leg.I'm ashamed to say I felt a little whore knee. Quote
Mr Fro Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 ... Is that from the Reader's Wives section? Quote
Six30 Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 ... Is that from the Reader's Wives section? Don’t know is that your wife then ? Quote
Mr Fro Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 Don’t know is that your wife then ? Can't be mine, Mrs Fro has a beard like a rhododendron. Quote
Sam0677 Posted August 28, 2019 Posted August 28, 2019 A communist joke isn’t funny…… unless everyone gets it.Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?Because the pee is silent! Quote
MikeHorton Posted August 29, 2019 Posted August 29, 2019 Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall?Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.Sergeant: Color of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.Sergeant: Color of hair?Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.Sergeant: What was she wearing?Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?Husband: She actually went on my dirt bike...Sergeant: What kind of bike was it? Husband: (sobbing)It's a new 2019 Kawasaki KX450 in lime green with a Liquid-cooled, 4-stroke Single engine, 449 cm³ displacement, 96 x 62.1 mm Bore x stroke with Compression ratio of 12.5:1. DOHC 4 valve, Forced lubrication, semi‑dry sump. Front suspension; 49 mm inverted telescopic fork with adjustable compression and rebound damping. Rear; New Uni-Trak with adjustable dual-range (high/lowspeed). Front brakes are Single semi-floating 270 mm petal disc. Caliper: Dual-piston. Rear brakes are Single 250 mm petal disc. Caliper: Single-piston. 5-speed transmission, Primary Reduction Ratio of 2.727 (60/22). Wet multi-disc manual clutch. Perimeter, aluminum frame, 122 mm trail, 305mm front wheel travel, 307 for the rear. Front tyre: 80/100-21 51M and rear 120/80-19 63M. Steering angle, left / right 42° / 42° L x W x H 2,185 x 830 x 1,275 mm Wheelbase 1,485 mm Ground clearance 340 mm Fuel capacity 6.2 litres Seat height 955 mm Curb mass 110.0 kg... (continues to cry). Sergeant:Don't worry mate. We'll find your bike. Quote
BIKERDAD Posted August 29, 2019 Posted August 29, 2019 Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height?Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall?Sergeant: Weight?Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.Sergeant: Color of eyes?Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.Sergeant: Color of hair?Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.Sergeant: What was she wearing?Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?Husband: She actually went on my dirt bike...Sergeant: What kind of bike was it? Husband: (sobbing)It's a new 2019 Kawasaki KX450 in lime green with a Liquid-cooled, 4-stroke Single engine, 449 cm³ displacement, 96 x 62.1 mm Bore x stroke with Compression ratio of 12.5:1. DOHC 4 valve, Forced lubrication, semi‑dry sump. Front suspension; 49 mm inverted telescopic fork with adjustable compression and rebound damping. Rear; New Uni-Trak with adjustable dual-range (high/lowspeed). Front brakes are Single semi-floating 270 mm petal disc. Caliper: Dual-piston. Rear brakes are Single 250 mm petal disc. Caliper: Single-piston. 5-speed transmission, Primary Reduction Ratio of 2.727 (60/22). Wet multi-disc manual clutch. Perimeter, aluminum frame, 122 mm trail, 305mm front wheel travel, 307 for the rear. Front tyre: 80/100-21 51M and rear 120/80-19 63M. Steering angle, left / right 42° / 42° L x W x H 2,185 x 830 x 1,275 mm Wheelbase 1,485 mm Ground clearance 340 mm Fuel capacity 6.2 litres Seat height 955 mm Curb mass 110.0 kg... (continues to cry). Sergeant:Don't worry mate. We'll find your bike. It was half funny the 1st time posted . .. Quote
dynax Posted August 29, 2019 Posted August 29, 2019 A man hires a hitman to bump off his wife, when he meets the hitman to pay him, the hitman says " it will only take one bullet just below the left nipple" the bloke cries out " No! i want her dead not flamin' kneecapping" Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.