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The opportunity arose for the to make the great move. Somewhere in south Asia, away from cold, political correctness, haggis, riding 3 days a year and all those things that make the Scottish riding a thrilling adventure even if very short one. Having consulted with the governmental authority in the capital I was informed that the amount of tax plus sea transport and all the other things together bring the bikes will be an expensive option. Better buy new ones when moving. Therefore, although sadly, I will have to sell both including the trailer for the pan. I won't be finishing the clock I was working on, apologies to @Stu But more pressing and urgent tasks got in the way. I have all the parts and there is little remaining to be done if anyone wants to take over the project. Finally, you won't get rid of me that easily. I'll always be around to wind you guys up

Sooooooooo, feck me, it all happened so quickly. Bought a new one on 0% interest, a real no-brainer. Collect it on Saturday morning.

Rode up to Ullapool on the Harley and did a spot of whale watching .

Good evening Looking likely that Sue will be able to come home tomorrow or Friday!

Begrudgingly, I was won over to the ease and simplicity of Applepay. It always worked. Then I got an Android phone. Nothing ever worked properly. So, a new iPhone is on the way. Last night I wiped the Samsung. Bike got delivered. Jacket was donned. Off I went to stop for some fuel. Filled the tank, went to pay, Card 1 wanted to be inserted - well that's no damn use as I've no idea what my PIN is. If I ever needed to know it I'd look at the app...but there are no apps on the phone because it's cleaner than a clean thing in a bubble bath with a loofer. Tried a second card. Same bloody thing. Same bloody thing with all my cards. I looked at the woman, the woman scowled at me, her husband scowled at me, I scowled at my collection of cards on the counter. "You'll have to transfer the money," he said. "How," I replied. "I don't have any of my details and my phone doesn't have any apps." "You'll have to ride off and be reported for absconding then"...and I swear he was almost smiling. My world-famous placid demeanour was about to give way to a slightly more grumpy version of Dave. Then a bloke said, "Don't worry mate, I got you." A biker. A Gixxer rider. Max gave me his name and number and I promised to refund him later. He told me the same thing happened in the same garage to him a few week's back and he got a £60 fine from the owner in the post after he rode off. What an absolute belter of a bloke. I'm blown away. Seems like an age since I last heard of a biker helping another biker, and it's the first time I've been the recipient. What do we reckon a decent thank you gift should be? Rum? Wine? Roses?

My wife has an excellent system of ensuring her car is clear of ice and ready to drive on frosty morning. I go out in my PJs and scrape off the ice. When it's clear enough to see out of the windscreen I set off down the frozen country lanes trying to dodge the worst of the potholes and stay of out the ditches. After a couple of miles the heater starts to work and by the time I'm home it's up to temperature. The windscreen and windows are clear inside and out, and the car is toasty warm. The downside of this system is that the de-icing operative is (I am told) a grumpy old git and expensive to maintain.

For those of you who have been following my journey from complete novice to attempted biker, today was a huge (for me) milestone. I had a Doctors appointment. In the past, I'd just walk to the Doctors and back. Today, however, I threw caution to the wind and decided no! Not today, pavement! Today, I go by road! And so I did! I went out on the bike for a lunchtime Doctors appointment, and then on to the pharmacy, with all the associated Friday lunchtime traffic and the extra pedestrians around the school and college, and did so with no errors! Shifting up, shifting down, stopping and moving off. Everything went perfectly. While I know I'm still a long way off being as awesome a rider as many of you fine people are, I'm getting there. Slowly but surely, I'm getting there! We are about a Month on from my CBT now and as those of you who have followed will know, things have been slow going for me. 43 years a pedestrian, and never having driven a car, to riding a proper bike, has been one hell of a learning experience. To those of you who may be struggling with your CBT, or who may be nervous about your first steps afterward, please trust me when I say that you should take things easy, all in your own time, acknowledge your weaknesses and work on them and don't get overconfident about your strengths. Every day is a new experience. Every mistake is a learning opportunity. Every ride you can push yourself just a little further and a little more out of your comfort zone. If I can do it, you can too! Mindset is key. I'm really starting to get the hang of this. Oh, and if, by chance, you person reading this was one of the two bikers who waved at me while I was on my way to the Doctors, I apologise for not waving back. I'm new. I'm learning. I'll wave back doubly as hard as soon as I am able but, for now, just accept this forum post as my wave back. *WAVE*. I'm now positively itching to get back out on the bike again tomorrow. I've caught the bug.

I'm most definitely nominating the driver of a red, series 3 BMW this morning. I left the Victory cafe on the mountain, on my bike and headed back towards town. As I got up to Brandywell I had this guy behind me flashing his headlights like a man possessed, it was a car full of young guys. My first thought was "nob in a BMW trying to impress his mates". I was very wrong, he stayed behind me, flashing his lights so I pulled over at Windy corner to see what his problem was. He pulled in behind me and gave me my wallet back. Like a complete tit I left it sat on top of my back box, got distracted talking and putting my gear on, forgot about it and rode off, it obviously fell off and he picked it up. Restored my faith in humanity "for today anyway" , total legend IMHO.

So I’ve moved house. Some of you might have noticed messages from me about riding my motorbike to Scotland in order to play with my sailing boat. Well I have moved to a property near my boat. And with great riding roads all around. And the new house is superb. Red squirrels in the garden. It is far North. And this is my view from my terrace. Yeah ok

For a couple of weeks now, my wife has been looking for our table napkins, which had mysteriously gone missing. We were quite chilled about it though, and thought they would show up some day - they couldn't have far. How wrong I was. Because today, I got an unexpected delivery from Sportsbikeshop, and there inside were the napkins, with this note (I did wonder about putting this into "nob of the day", but I thought SBS deserved their own thread title)

Good evening.. When I say “good”, I mean “knackered but pleased with my efforts over that last few days”. The garden to the South West of the house has a steep slope and had been left to its own devices for twenty years by the previous owners. It was occupied by nettles, brambles, snowberry bushes and a whole host of other vegetation. Also pretty inaccessible without a machete (ok, I exaggerate. Slightly ). Today, after four years of prevarication, we completed building the steps down to this part of the garden - now labelled “The Dell”. We still have to level the area at the bottom of the steps and install seating - I’m repurposing an old swing seat for this purpose. At last, no more carrying wood, type 1, and hoggin 25 yards and then down the steps. I think I’ll treat myself to a beer.

Good afternoon from the Southern Hemisphere. A balmy 31 C and blue skies and seas. However the skies are occupied by blue footed boobies who have decided my ship is a nice place to rest on when they take a break from their fishing. They produce enough stinking guano to fertilise a small country. Absolutely reeks of fishy bird shit. Had I a shotgun there'd be a few less. I just shout rude things at them which has no effect at all except giving me a sore throat. Feathered f**kers.

See that it took the jury only an hour to acquit him of all charges. The CPS needs f**king with a fork as it should never have gone to court in the first place. Both the scrotes had rap sheets as long as your arm and need to be locked up for years.

And a happy new year to all members of the forum

I think Sue is coming home today! Hospital are happy they're just trying to sort local care out.

Good morning Sue is out of critical care and on a ward

Sue is out of surgery and in recovery it went well

Picked up my first ever bike, a CB125F, and rode it home 50 miles. Decided to do an additional 30 mile loop because I was enjoying it so much. The weather was perfect, dry and clear skies. That's me started

I've had my bike for more than seven months, today was the first time I've actually had a real, and proper ride. I decided that as it was too hot to do any work on our little farm, I'd go for a ride on my now repaired little machine. Feckin' Nora!! I just had the time of my life, it took me 1 hour 40 min's to do 45 miles, but I'd decided to go to Mersea island (Essex), and back again via Sainsbury's. So I had a 3 hour round trip, backside hurting towards the end of the outgoing journey, and shoulders hurting on the way home. I spent most of the time going through towns and villages at 20-30Mph, it was sweltering crawling along, no opportunities to overtake as it was school home time. But I just turned up the volume on Bob Marley and enjoyed my bike's new ability to actually crawl along in traffic, or bimble along at 30Mph. I'm absolutely buzzing, I just want to get back on it, I'm so much happier with it, and I feel so confident riding it now. Happy Days...... Having reached the harbour (sort of) at West Mersea, it was at this point that I renewed my vows with her.

I have just got back from doing the NC500 with my Wife ( only our second holiday together with no kids! ) Despite being stuck in a car for 8 days we are still together All credit to my Wife, she did all the planning and booked us some cracking places to stay in, the highlight for me being this cabin on the mountainside in Ullapool.... Was knackering carrying suitcases up to it though! Roads were a bit dodgy in places, by that I mainly mean potholes, and as it was raining most of the time that made it fun not knowing if it was a puddle or a 6inch hole Unfortunately applecross was completely misted over with no visibility at all so on the way back instead of taking the pass we went on the coastal road. Glad we did as it is a great road with barely any other cars to be seen, would of been fun on a bike Also I have just learned that the footbridge over Corrieshalloch Gorge that my Wife forced me to go across (despite knowing how much I hate heights) got shut down the day after we went as they have discovered potential structural issues!!

I have a very old textile jacket which is my usual daily chuck it on and head out to work kit. Over the years it has got very disreputable and isn't much use in anything more than a shower. Back in days when we used to get a summer it was a bit too warm when things got hot. Last night I decided to pull out the armour, risk it in the washing machine and then try treating it with waterproof spray. Whilst dismantling it I discovered various zips I had never noticed. Upon opening said zips I discovered no less than 6 air vents I never knew I had.

https://mickextanceexperience.com/ultimate-off-road-day/ Never being one to turn down an opportunity, I recently took the last spot on a Mick Extance experience day with eleven other headcases from the biker gang* to which I had recently been inducted. “Off-roading?” “January?” “Wales?” “Ah, go on then, you only live once.” It probably didn’t help that Friday night was a five-course Chinese New Year banquet, Saturday was a day on the bike, culminating in a plate of chips which may or may not have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Sunday morning then. Up at six for an hour and a half drive down to Oswestry after an eventful night praying to the porcelain gods. So here we were, in a converted schoolhouse full of enduro bikes, Pan Americas and Stark Vargs with knobbly tyres watching the obligatory safety video. It was to be a day of wheel spinning, muck spraying, high-octane tomfoolery and anti-social behaviour thinly disguised as self-improvement. Cover the clutch, see. Most important. A list pinned to the wall had my name against a number. The same number in the changing room had all the gear I would need for the day in my size. For a moment, I forgot about the questionnaire I’d filled out a few weeks prior. And the waiver. I don’t remember the exact wording, but it was along the lines of “Don’t come running to us if you break both your legs riding one of our bikes”. Fair enough? I guess so. We were bundled into a muddy minibus and driven up a hill to base camp where the bikes were waiting. After a bit of a demo and in-person safety briefing (“cover the clutch, very important…”), we got to choose our steed for the morning session. Being a bit of a traditionalist, I went with the Beta 350. My first time on an Enduro bike. Mirrors? Speedo? Gear position indicator? Rev counter? Indicators? Neutral light? Not required. From here on in, there would be only fire roads, mud and rock trails and gnarly obstacles to overcome. Such fripperies held no place in this world. There was ice on the ground in patches, but after the first half hour, we were all burning enough calories that we didn’t notice the cold. Riding these trails is physically demanding. I took to standing on the pegs, hands over the bars, not being too rigid with the steering input, allowing the bike to find its way between the rocks, ruts and roots. The knobblies proved themselves time and again and confidence grew with each sketchy bounce and swerve. Suddenly, I hit a big rock and was thrown backwards on the bike. My throttle hand gave an involuntary twist, and the bike lurched dangerously forward, creating an unwelcome feedback loop which could only be rectified by… “COVER. YOUR. CLUTCH” Some people learn by reading. Some by listening. The rest of us need to make the dumb mistake at least once before we get it through our thick heads. At least the waiver didn’t come into play. From then on, it all seemed to click. Speed was more a function of slipping the clutch in second gear than any real use of the throttle. Steep obstacles were best approached in second rather than first, as first would just run out too quickly. Momentum was your friend. If you judged it right, you’d get to the top of the hill with not too much speed to spare and cut the power to the rear wheel to prevent accidentally launching yourself into the trees beyond. Braking was another area which differed from road riding. On the road, you would normally rely primarily on the front brake, with perhaps only 10 or 20 percent rear to add a bit of balance and stability. Out here, on loose, slippy ground, the rear brake was your friend. This took some mastering, particularly as much of the time we were riding stood up for the sake of better balance. This was an area where the Stark electric bikes held an advantage. Not being encumbered by such an outmoded contraption as a clutch allowed both brakes to be operated by hand. Combined with the instant torque and responsiveness of the Varg’s 80-horsepower motor and long battery life, it made a good case for itself in this kind of setting. Was it lunchtime already? Back to the hut for a brew and a sandwich. Given the weather, our instructors had opted to stay on one side of the valley for the day, but the whole venue spans 1500 acres of private forestry. Evidence of recent storms in the form of landslips and uprooted trees dotted the landscape. After a half-time debrief, and a bit of fettling and trail repairs on a few of the bikes, we headed back to some of the more challenging trails. Steep descents gave way to puddles a hundred yards long and as deep as your rear tyre. We bounced down staircases of slippery rocks two feet high into deep muddy ruts, too narrow for the bike and both feet to fit. Through forest trails, sketched precariously into the side of the remote mountain. And then… the big one. We all lined up at the bottom of a climb so ridiculous, so outrageous in its sheer impossibility. In the middle of this steep quagmire of doom, there was a step up at least as high as the top of the bike’s front wheel. “There are two ways up,” said Pete, our instructor. “Easy or hard?” Surely a trick question? After everything we’d gone through, everything we’d learned, how could we walk away without giving it a try? “There is no TRY, only DO,” said Pete, like a very tall Yoda. “You have to attack this one. Don’t dip the clutch. Give it everything.” One by one, we bounced up to the formidable obstacle, only for it to throw us sideways or back down the hill. Eventually, though, everyone made it up to the group at the top. I made it on the second attempt, falling to the left immediately above it. My first spill of the day, but I’d bested the Giant, and I was happy. So that was us. A group for whom the word bedraggled was surely invented. We had conquered the vast wastes of the backyard of Dakar Legend Mick Extance and come away victorious. Older, wiser, and certainly wetter than we had arrived, but victorious nonetheless. I hear there are plans afoot to return and some talk of learning to powerslide a Harley Davidson. For now, though, I shall simply enjoy the comfort of my Tiger Explorer and never again complain about wet roads, potholes or the odd spot of gravel. *Wirral Advanced Motorcyclists. Kind of like the Hells Angels but with a more hardcore criminal ethos. Pictures taken by members of the group.

Good morning Sue is home!

So after the disasters with that triumph I binned it and saved a few more quid and bought myself another tenere, I now have a bike that starts and properly working electrics in general. hoping to be out bagging points again soon

I've just got back from a week in Portugal Glorious weather, friendly people, would certainly go again. We even nipped over the border to Seville for the day which was nice but absolutely rammed as it was on the same day AC/DC were performing so full of fans hanging from every street corner. Bad start to the holiday as our flight was delayed due to being struck by lightning Got put up in a hotel overnight as they couldn't get another plane ready in time to get to Faro airport before it shuts down for the night! All went fine once we got there

Took to the road on the VFR this morning with some trepidation. I know I have two venerable old bikes running perfectly. To have three running perfectly is unknown. Always some niggle that needs working out. So kitted up, got her out of the shed and running. Gave her a bit of a warm up as VFRs are notoriously cold blooded. A minute later and she was answering sharp blips of the throttle without bogging and time to open all the gates to get out of Fort Knox. Out on the road, through the village at 30mph and 3000 rpm and no problems. Reached the country lanes, opened the taps a little.. Hard misfire and popping through the exhaust at 5500 rpm. It cleared at 7000 rpm. Aha that must have cleared it Changed up a couple if gears and loaded her up. Hard misfire around 5500 rpm and popping back through the exhaust. Dammit, a plug starting to fail, probably because of all the abuse they suffered under the blowlamp when drying the stale fuel off them. I resolved to take the next left turn back to village and order some plugs. Left turn looming ahead and misfire felt a bit better than before. Do I go home or continue on to the next village? I resolved to continue. The misfire gradually went away over the next two miles and by the time I got to the next village, it was gone completely. Lovely silky smooth engine at all throttle openings and rpms. Must have been fouling due to all the crap they endured during the winter. This winter, I am draining the fuel and carbs and putting in a couple of litres of Aspen fuel in with a splash of two stroke oil in, just to keep things "wet"and corrosion proof. I will never trust pump fuel and those carbs ever again over the winter layup. Enjoyed a 40 or so mile ride on her, filled her up.with fresh Esso 99 premium and as ever on the first ride of the season, marvelled at just how good she is at everything. Of course, chassis being fully rebuilt, she feels like a brand new bike, which she pretty much is. A moment of consternation at the petrol station. Ignition on, pressed the starter button and nothing. What the hell? Five seconds of panic ensued until I noticed that I had inadvertantly knocked off the kill switch. Switch back to run and "ah thank God". It cranked and ran. Turned off the A19 and onto a long straight leading back to the village. Opened her up in first and at 7000 rpm, the front wheel lifted and hovered 6" above the road in that delightful way VFRs do. Second gear, 7000 rpm, sit back on the seat, and up she came again, floating 6" above the road. Very satisfying. Shakedown ride over. I have four days to work, then a week off. I hope the weather is good. The missus and I plan to do some trips out on her this holiday. Resting after an eventful shakedown ride. In my opinion there is no finer bike ever made, it just does everything so well (apart from two up, long distance touring) but then I am a tad biased.

Brought it home (bonus veg patch in background)

The saga is over.

Once upon a time there was a scruffy, leather jacketed, denim cutoff, jeans and bike booted young tinkicker. This was pretty much his entire ensemble. The jacket lived draped over a chair in his kitchen, his helmet and gloves lived on the kitchen table and the well worn, almost carpet slipper comfortable boots lived at the side of the kitchen door. Jeans were always worn. So lets go out on the bike.. Jacket on, boots pulled on, helmet gloves and keys picked up and out to the garage, unlock it, fuel on, ignition on and be riding in less than three minutes from switching the telly off. Fast forward 35 years. Still a scruffy creature, that particular foible never changed. This time it is scruffy for comfort, not a lifestyle statement. Jeans gave way to fleece joggers, leather jacket gave way to t shirt and sweatshirt. Bike boots are now trainers. Time to get the bike out for a run. OK. Unlock the shed, turn off the alarm, unlock the chain and disc lock. Remove the dust sheets. Remove the battery tender. Grope under the tank with a specially bought for the purpose, very long screwdriver to switch on the fuel via the completely inaccessable fuel tap. Refit the seat and seat cowl. Start up the bike, check the tyre pressures, roll out the bike through two extra layers of security into the driveway. Stop the bike, and switch off the ignition. Pocket the keys. Upstairs bedroom to change into jeans or more usually, combat pants. Spare bedroom to collect armoured jacket and boots. Take downstairs put them on the kitchen worktop. Into conservatory where I keep the helmet, take it out of bag and place with jacket ect. Put on my stiff as hell tactical boots. Make sure the escape artist dogs are where they should be before opening the front door, if one sneaks out without me seeing, it will be away as soon as I open the final gates onto the road. Armed with jacket, gloves and helmet, I slip out of the front door, lock it and go to start the bike. Where is the key? Upstairs in my jogger pants pocket is where. Unlock the door and wrestle with three dogs intent on getting out, to get back in. Go upstairs, find key, come back and wrestle with three dogs intent on getting out into the front garden once again to get back out the front door. Lock the front door and zip the keys into a pocket. Start up the bike to warm it while I put on the jacket, helmet and gloves. Open the final layer of security - the main gates and onto the street. Start to finish, a full 30 minutes or more. Many is the time when I have fancied a ride out and did not go because I could not face the rigmarole of getting everything ready. Modern life is so much more complicated than it once was.

Today started off well - for all of 5 minutes. I had to swap my day off due to school events so I had today booked off and the weather is glorious. So first thing I had the Bobber all ready to set off for a bimble around N Wales when two contractors vans arrived out of the blue to work on our house. We live in tied accommodation and this was a job that should have been done last August. So that put paid to me going out. I wheeled the bike back into the garage and though I'd do some work on a model boat. Just got started on that and a lady arrived saying there was a leak in our hall so the floor was flooded. So left off the boat and got my toolkit out. Meanwhile my wife didn't arrive at work due to a tractor towing a slurry tank ploughing through two houses and demolishing them. So trying to get through to her work to say she was stuck in traffic. Raced up to the hall to turn the water off which is located in the disabled toilet - just to see an elderly lady lock herself in there so had to wait with water pouring everywhere until she emerged. It was not quick. To get at the faulty joint I needed to remove the waste pipe under the sink, and behold, whoever had installed the trap had snapped the retaining bolt so had just glued it in place with silicone. Off to Wickes to get a new trap. "We don't do that type." So off to B&Q which is in the next town - by now it's school kicking out time so the roads are filled with huge SUVs driven by people who have no idea how to drive. Get a new trap, a new tube of silicone, a pack of olives, and head home. And some twerp had decided to have a crash so the road was closed. The leak is fixed, the new trap is installed, my wife is still stuck in traffic trying to get home. The bike has gone nowhere. But the mast and mainsail are trial rigged on the boat. And I have beer.

Good morning bikers New bike day today, I'm so excited, in a stiff and creaking old git kind of way.

When I was at school I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got landed with looking after one of the links between buildings to help guide the new sprogs to where they were meant to be. I was in the 6th form and was assisted by a girl from the 5th form who had also been nobbled. Anyway we got chatting, I treated her to hot chocolate from the 6th form tuck shop, and this year we've been married 41 years. Funny how things turn out.

Over the past few days I have; Changed the battery. Changed the oil. Flushed out and changed the brake fluid. Removed a broken starter motor and fitted a new one. Cleaned the bike three times. Cleaned and lubed the chain. Buffed my helmet (bike helmet! get your minds out of the gutter!). I've gone from being a 43 year old pedestrian to a god-like super mechanic biker in a shorter amount of time than I expected. This is most excellent! And you are all to blame!

Rode to the old farts meet at Hoar park. Quite a varied selection.

I just saw this thread and thought I'd overslept Happy New Year

It's like a scene from the Walking Dead in our house this morning. I'm too old to go back to work after just 4 hours kip....and then we have a 3 year old and a 2 year old descending upon us later. On the plus side I have a giant red dinosaur sticker on my robes for Christmas which was donated during our Crib Service last night. The midnight attendees were giving me some funny looks. Hope you all have a great day.

Merry Christmas to all of you and especially to MBF who's working overtime!

I will be saving 500 quid on a new helmet! By not buying one

Last week I signed myself up for a motocross try out day run by mxtryout in Mildenhall. What I didn't realise until I tipped up at the track was that all the other punters would be under 14. Ah well, can’t duck out now. I went to get changed, chatted to one of the Dads who was helping his 8 year old on with his kit, and faffed about working out exactly how many layers I needed to keep the cold out. Then I bumped into a bloke in his 30s who’d ridden green lanes until some broken ribs had put him off. He was there to pick up confidence. Then a lad in his 20s who’d bought a dirt bike on a whim earlier in the year, gone out, crashed it, and sold it. He was there to get some proper training. And one of the Dads was going to ride as well. We formed a gang of four for the day. Briefing. This is a Honda 250. Here’s is the gear change. Don’t use first. Here’s the clutch, but you only need it when you start or stop. Sit forward and stick your elbows up like this. Don’t be a nob. And then we were off, just simple ovals in second gear on the dirt. The bike was super torquey; keeping the throttle smooth wasn’t easy, but we all seemed to do it well enough, so after a quick break we were let out onto the track proper. By lunch we were having a go at standing up on the pegs. The afternoon was a series of 15-minute sessions with 15-minute breaks in between: time to decompress, grab a cuppa, and think about the next session. The track gradually got more challenging: the turns, chewed up by the bikes, were getting deeper and deeper in loose stuff, and the straights more and more pitted and rutted. But with plenty of time to pick up confidence, most of us were sliding out of the turns, standing on the straights, and getting steadily quicker. This bit was great fun The day was run really well – good, clear instruction and then occasional tips and encouragement from the side of the track. Loads of marshals out, too, so you always knew what to do. I’m never going to be a motocross rider but I’d definitely be up to do it again.

New addition to the family as of today. My name of Lord deathbringer the third is being ignored in favour of Lucy apparently. I reckon my name suits her more

What do you mean?

Good morning all I had a good weekend, I got engaged. Was carefully choreographed. My fiancée went to the Isle of Wight to see family, it's arguably her favourite place as she used to live there. I snuck onto the island early Sunday morning, and went to the Needles. With the help of her sister, we got her into position near the cliffs on her favourite island hike. I'd sent a love letter message an hour earlier that she said made her tear up, and she couldn't wait to be home. I walked up avoiding detection as she posed for a picture, looking out to sea. She asked her sister if she could turn around and I replied she could. She was completely stunned. And I was very relieved I'd pulled it off without a hitch!

After a nice big long ride around the Wirral, I've only gone and passed! Took longer than I thought but as I said, it would have been better to fail a thousand times and be safe, than pass by the skin of my teeth. I can now bring my bike home and start the real business of learning. Well. I'll be bringing it home tomorrow. Could have brought it home this evening but there is a particularly unfriendly roundabout I would have to navigate in rush hour traffic and I know I'm not ready for that. I'll bring it home tomorrow mid morning instead. I'm proper chuffed! And now, to celebrate with a cup of coffee and a chocolate digestive.

With my CBT being tomorrow, I made sure this morning that I had everything ready to go and in working order. Helmet - clean and visor polished. Gloves - clean, dry, flexible. Boots - well worn in. Waterproof/windproof overtrousers - ready to go! Jacket - OH NO! Defective zip! I had bought the jacket a couple of weeks ago and other than trying it on, hadn't worn it since, it being hung up in my wardrobe much to the Wifes chagrin. Anyway, I had a bit of a panic. Can't very well turn up to the CBT tomorrow without a proper jacket. I'm determined to do this properly, safely, and with as much of a sacrifice to the God of ATGATT as is needed! So off to the motorcycle dealership I go, ready to shell out another wedge of money. Motorcycling (or at least starting it) is an expensive old business! I get to the dealership and explain to the chap that I had bought the jacket and was getting everything ready this morning and noticed that the zip was buggered. Not to worry, says he, I can just do a straight swap, no problem. Woo hoo! (I didn't actually woo hoo, I tried to maintain my cool) He goes to get me the same jacket only to find out that alas, there are none of my size in stock! Disaster! He then says that there is a similar jacket, and I could try that one and see if it fits. I tried it, and it did indeed fit. Knowing that the jacket was a little more expensive than the one I had originally purchased (or rather, I assumed it was since it certainly seems to be a fancier jacket and is longer than the other one) I offered to make up the difference but was told that I didn't need to and that all was well. I'm now back at home with my new jacket (and fully functioning zip) hung up safely ready for tomorrow morning. Top marks to Wallasey Motorcycles for their service not only today but every step of the way from my first going in and enquiring about doing a CBT to the purchase of kit to the purchase of a bike and tomorrow what promises to be a rather splendid day of training with them too. Cannot fault them at all. Top lads!

IOW Tags: Water Mill Donkey Sanctuary Osbourne House Hogs Bonus: Nice roads BUT Bl@@dy WET!

Good morning Sue is home

As most will have gathered by now, I do not take myself too seriously and am always ready to make someone laugh at my expense. So week off work and this morning, decided to have a nice walk along the canal into Selby. Lovely and sunny morning. We walked right to the end of the canal to Selby sea lock, turned back and stopped by a burger cafe for a small burger and a can of pop. Suitably refreshed, we set off back to the car.... A mile or so later, I began to feel distinctly uneasy.. Best pick up the pace a little... No stopping to look at the ducks ect, or to pat dogs. A few minutes later.. A feeling of urgency came upon me. That burger was going through me like fuel through a funnel or eggs through a hen... I was almost goose stepping at this point... We were in the middle of nowhere, wearing nothing but t shirt and shorts. The car was a couple of miles distant. Then the cramps started. This was getting very alarming. A few hundred yards later it became clear I was not going to make it... What do you do? It was a new and somewhat unusual experience for me. I felt naked. I know. I will sit quietly on the canal side and hope it gets a bit less urgent. It didn't and to make matters worse, it transpired that I was sat on an ants nest... There I was, trying desperately to hold everything together, suffering acute embarrasment and suddenly finding myself host to a couple of dozen ants. They were on my arms, legs, face, neck and the blighters were stinging... I had to move.. I stood and my guts made it clear that no matter how I tried to hold everything together, they were going to explode. So there I was at the side of a canal very popular with dog walkers, I had a very bad case of the shits and could not sidle behind a bush because we had nothing to clean myself up with and mount etna was building up to an immenent eruption. To cap it all I was covered in ants.... Eruption immenent.. I spied a wooden fishing platform a couple of yards away. Only one thing for it. I ran and leapt off the end of it into the canal. Managed to rip my shorts down as the eruption occurred. ohhhh blisss... Disaster averted. I was dripping wet, but it was the good kind of wet. I emerged from the canal to the sight and sound of the missus doubled up on the canal bank laughing her head off.... I squelched back to the car to the sound of the missus breaking into bouts of hysterical laughter every ten yards or so.... I can laugh abut it now, at the time I was close to panic.

When using the brush cutter around the edges of the muck heap, look out for the poo, otherwise, when you "strim" it, it will spray up your T-shirt and all over your trousers, whilst spattering over your face and glasses. You'll also still be able to smell it a couple of hours later

Good afternoon folks! I've been told earlier this week I am being promoted. I went for a technical director role, but sadly, I wasn't grey haired enough (quite literally was said at one point). I have however, been told I am being promoted to Principal engineer. Scarily, and very antagonising for my imposter syndrome, this will make me the highest ranking engineer (who isn't a manager) in the business currently. I will be having a couple of drinks this weekend with my good lady to celebrate.