Your worst joke!!!

[onesea]

[onesea]

[Bender]

1 hour ago, onesea said:

Bet the bun still costs £12.00

[onesea]

59 minutes ago, Bender said:

Bet the bun still costs £12.00

I think it was that for a pint of Guinness when I was that way.

My was that an expensive hangover

Edited November 21, 2022 by onesea

[onesea]

Driving licence found please PM me if it's yours...

[onesea]

[daveinlim]

[husoi]

[fredc]

[Tiggie]

I couldn't be arsed watching them all but a few did make me laugh 

 

 

[husoi]

[onesea]

WARNING ...RANT!

For those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your garden, can you please avoid anything that has Blue flashing lights ?

 

Every time I come around the corner, even when working, I’m think its the police.

I have to brake hard, toss my beer out the window, hide the weed, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat, all while trying to drive.

 

[fredc]

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.

He says to the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.”

To the Scotsman he says, “You’re in charge of shoveling.”

And to the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.”

He then says, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand.”

So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?”

The Italian replies, “I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.”

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says “And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.”

The Scotsman replies, “Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th’ Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin’ him neither.”

The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.

Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, “SUPPLIES!!!!”

[husoi]

Coming from the dentist 15min ago and still only feeling half of my face, a question come to mind.

 

Does dentists work in a confined space? 

[manxie49]

[veracocha]

84 year old man goes to confession and says "father, I am 84 years old and for the last year I have been having amazing sex every day with a 20 year old super model"

 

Priest says "a year, my good man, when did you last go to confession"

 

Old bloke says "I've never been to confession, I'm Jewish"

 

Priest asks the old man "then why are you telling me"

 

Old man says "I'm telling everyone"

[manxie49]

Sorry .... Seen it and just couldn't resist! 

[Tiggie]

I always figured that Myself @rennie & @Bender were the 3 wise men .

 

Guess that leaves @Stu as.............

[Bender]

1 hour ago, Tiggie said:

I always figured that Myself @rennie & @Bender were the 3 wise men .

 

Guess that leaves @Stu as.............

Well virgin and baby are defo out  

[Tiggie]

@Bender Herod perhaps? 

[MikeHorton]

[Mickly]

[MikeHorton]

[onesea]

[manxie49]

Might not get another chance this week, so Merry Christmas everyone, have a good one