Nob of the Day.......

[bonio]

Tuesday's vote goes to the lady driving some large black car on a proper single lane road, heading towards me.

 I can see her coming, and I can see that there's no passing place near me. One up by her, but she drives on past it. So I stop at the side of the road. She's still heading towards me, looking for all the world as if she's going to try to pass me, except I can see the road's just not wide enough for the two of us. So I start signalling at her to stop, but she ploughs on regardless. She must have slowed down, though, because when she hit my mirror, she was able to stop and she wound down her window so that we were head to head. This is a transcript of what follows.

 

Daft woman in black car: "Did I hit you?"

Me: "Yes you did."

Dwibc: "I didn't really have much choice; there was nowhere else to go."

Me: "You could have gone into reverse."

Dwibc (eyes widening): "You can't be serious!"

Me: "Well you have a reverse gear. I don't."

Dwibc: "You really expect me to go into reverse? Well, " and here she grabbed her handbag almost as if it were a weapon, "I suppose you can have my insurance details. But it's Not My Fault".

Me: "Never mind your details. Just remember next time you're in this situation to use reverse gear."

And, since I'd guessed she hadn't done the bike any real damage, I hooned off.

 

But now I have my doubts. I don't have a very elevated view of Dwibc's sense of social responsibility, and so I'm now wondering if the next I hear is a knock from plod telling me I hit the lady's car and rode off without leaving my details. Here's hoping she doesn't have a rear dashcam and so can't track me down...

[S-Westerly]

There's a surprising number of people on the roads who don't apparently have the mental capacity to breathe and walk at the same time. Have to wonder how they ever managed to pass a test.

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

I'll nominate the bus driver who was stationary at a stop. I was on his offside slowly passing him because I had a feeling he wasn't paying attention. 

 

Sure enough, I watched him in his mirror looking to his left clearly talking to someone as he then indicated to pull out and immediately pulled out. He didn't once look in his mirror or check the direction he was moving in. 

 

So I just played it cool and we met after a few yards when he was most surprised. It was a hot day and his window was open so I was able to provide him him with an opinion of his road awareness and enlighten him on the purpose of the mirror attached to side of his cab. 

[Grumpy Old Git]

11 minutes ago, Mississippi Bullfrog said:

I'll nominate the bus driver who was stationary at a stop. I was on his offside slowly passing him because I had a feeling he wasn't paying attention. 

 

Sure enough, I watched him in his mirror looking to his left clearly talking to someone as he then indicated to pull out and immediately pulled out. He didn't once look in his mirror or check the direction he was moving in. 

 

So I just played it cool and we met after a few yards when he was most surprised. It was a hot day and his window was open so I was able to provide him him with an opinion of his road awareness and enlighten him on the purpose of the mirror attached to side of his cab. 

Careful - If you upset him @Stu will ban you! 

[onesea]

7 hours ago, bonio said:

Tuesday's vote goes to the lady driving some large black car on a proper single lane road, heading towards me.

 I can see her coming, and I can see that there's no passing place near me. One up by her, but she drives on past it. So I stop at the side of the road. She's still heading towards me, looking for all the world as if she's going to try to pass me, except I can see the road's just not wide enough for the two of us. So I start signalling at her to stop, but she ploughs on regardless. She must have slowed down, though, because when she hit my mirror, she was able to stop and she wound down her window so that we were head to head. This is a transcript of what follows.

 

Daft woman in black car: "Did I hit you?"

Me: "Yes you did."

Dwibc: "I didn't really have much choice; there was nowhere else to go."

Me: "You could have gone into reverse."

Dwibc (eyes widening): "You can't be serious!"

Me: "Well you have a reverse gear. I don't."

Dwibc: "You really expect me to go into reverse? Well, " and here she grabbed her handbag almost as if it were a weapon, "I suppose you can have my insurance details. But it's Not My Fault".

Me: "Never mind your details. Just remember next time you're in this situation to use reverse gear."

And, since I'd guessed she hadn't done the bike any real damage, I hooned off.

 

But now I have my doubts. I don't have a very elevated view of Dwibc's sense of social responsibility, and so I'm now wondering if the next I hear is a knock from plod telling me I hit the lady's car and rode off without leaving my details. Here's hoping she doesn't have a rear dashcam and so can't track me down...

When similar had happened to me, I have stopped in the middle of the road.

 

Then when they have expected me to reverse, I have got off and gone to start pushing.

I have never had to push yet, they have all realised the error of there ways and backed up to give space.

Where to have to back up it would be very slow.

[bonio]

1 hour ago, onesea said:

When similar had happened to me, I have stopped in the middle of the road.

 

Then when they have expected me to reverse, I have got off and gone to start pushing.

I have never had to push yet, they have all realised the error of there ways and backed up to give space.

Where to have to back up it would be very slow.

I did this once, and have had the pillion and me get off and push the machine - the 9-foot wide GS - uphill to the passing place. The whole performance took about 10 minutes.

But that was in Cambridge, where common sense is scarce.

[Mickly]

This has happened to me a couple of times, most recently on a trip round Cornish lanes.

I stopped in the middle of the road, got off the bike & told them that I don’t have a reverse gear & they do.

They started shouting some bollox, I just shrugged my shoulders & leaned against my bike.

They ended up reversing, had their window down as I passed to shout some more bollox I just revved the tits of my bike, not big, not clever but enormously satisfying.

[Bianco2564]

Heading towards Daventry this morning, came across a tractor towing a trailer stacked high with straw bales.

At least two stacks of bales had fell off, luckily into the hedge, dread to think what could have happened had they fell the other way into oncoming traffic.

Give the things a wide berth.

[Bender]

Me

 

Pvc cleaner in the eyes bloody stings. 

[Guest]

Me. Went for a wee in a bush (hazard of working in forests) and put my nob of the day in a spiders web by accident).

[Mickly]

28 minutes ago, goat said:

Me. Went for a wee in a bush (hazard of working in forests) and put my nob of the day in a spiders web by accident).

Least it wasn’t a wasps nest

[husoi]

15 hours ago, goat said:

Me. Went for a wee in a bush (hazard of working in forests) and put my nob of the day in a spiders web by accident).

Kinky... 

[Fozzie]

Nominate the Auris driver in Trafford park this morning. 

 

New roundabout next to the Trafford Centre, I come up to it from the lane opposite the event city exit. There's 3 lanes leading up to a set of lights, the left lane is left only into the trafford centre. The middle lane is straight only, to the dual carriageway towards Eccles. The right hand lane is straight on, and right. If you go straight on, you are guided to the lane that takes you onto the right lane of the dual carriageway.

Likely this by design, as 300 yards down this dual carriageway is a roundabout, and I'm turning right. 

 

Even though they've put x marks in the road to guide traffic, twats in the middle lane (ahead only) just cut over to my lane (ahead/right). And today an Auris did it without any indication, and I was half way alongside him. Had to slam on to miss him. Gave a 1-2 second blast of the horn, and raised my hand to basically say "What the hell! Look where you're going". I didn't swear or anything, just thought he was being oblivious. 

The guy then goes to Costco fuel, where I'm heading, and he makes every turn without an indicator. I'm not tailgating, so imagine he's just a bit of a useless driver. But as we go down to the fuel, he stares at me in his mirror and slows down... He definitely thinks I'm following him. And sure enough, he suddenly stops, and starts getting out his car to come at me. I really can't be bothered, so I just drive around him. He can bicker with me at the pump, but I'm not wasting my time. He jumps back in his car.

 

He parks up near me, fills up, and does his best never to look over. Probably embarrassed he thought he was worth following to be called a nob, which just makes him more of one...

[onesea]

Can I nominate a hole department? 

Scheduling allocate shifts, we have policies about what they can allocate.   If someone points out a mistake surely you correct it? 

When you reply “I think” and some one quotes policy number at you surely you read the working time policy?  That as scheduling you should already know?

 

When you finally realise that you are wrong should you not at least adjust the correct shift?

 

I await resolution.

[daveinlim]

On my ride into London this morning, on the motorway an Uber in lane 3 missed his turn off. Traffic was a little busy but moving along at 70mph.

 

Driver decided to swing across three lanes and try make the turn. He pulled in front of a car in lane 2 and a large truck and trailer in lane 1 nearly hitting both. Truck slammed his brakes, smoke from the tyres, truck cabin shaking (nobody behind me so I slowed well down in lane 2).

 

In the end the guy didn't make his turn, pulled back out into traffic and sat in lane 3.

 

I've no camera but wish I did. Incredibly dangerous driving. Could have been very serious.

 

 

[Fish]

You can get your backside the lorry has a camera.....

[Shepherd]

Think I can nominate myself (again).

After spending too long laying patio and path, I thought it'd be best to put my work clothes in the machine separately from everything,  to avoid normal clothes sharing the load, and to save my Wife having to do it.

So in go 2 pairs of jeans and half a dozen t-shirts, all filthy dirty with cement dust, sand and mud etc.

 

Now the machine has given up.

Drained the sump of the very gritty water, took out the filter and chipped off the cement the was stuck fast.

I think the whole system is coated internally with a nice mix of portland and sharp sand! 

 

I thought I was being helpful ...

[bonio]

On 17/08/2022 at 19:34, Shepherd said:

I thought I was being helpful

This is where it all started going wrong .

[husoi]

I'll nominate myself (again)

Dropped the kitchen roll.

Bounced on my foot (for some reason I thought was a good idea to kick it), across the kitchen floor, hit the door frame and run away into the corridor ending at the front door.

 

Glad the door was closed, still half of the roll laying on the floor.

The cat was looking at me like "If it was me..." 

[Bianco2564]

Person driving a white people carrier thing in Daventry this morning.

Going around one of the roundabouts on the way to work, planning to take the 3rd exit, go past the 2nd exit and indicate left, white car approaches from my left and comes straight onto the roundabout and we miss by fractions. Pretty sure if I had braked we would have collided. Showed my displeasure with appropriate hand signals.

[Fiddlesticks]

15 hours ago, Bianco2564 said:

Person driving a white people carrier thing in Daventry this morning.

Going around one of the roundabouts on the way to work, planning to take the 3rd exit, go past the 2nd exit and indicate left, white car approaches from my left and comes straight onto the roundabout and we miss by fractions. Pretty sure if I had braked we would have collided. Showed my displeasure with appropriate hand signals.

What is it about roundabouts that attracts such idiots? The other day I was on a busy roundabout and could see someone approaching at speed on the next joining road,  looking straight at me, clearly thinking they could gun it and jump out in front.

 

Split-second decision - pre-emptive (possibly unnecessary) emergency stop and get rear-ended, or play chicken with a car.  Neither particularly attractive options.

 

[S-Westerly]

This is dedicated to all the strange people who feel it is quite okay to go onto a motorway or dual carriageway and drive at 40 mph thus causing all the trucks to pull out and consequent traffic jams where there needn't be.

[bonio]

We've solved this problem in Suffolk - no motorways

[daveinlim]

I'll nominate the tour bus that decided to do a u turn on a main road into London at 8am this morning, got stuck and blocked 5 lanes of commuter traffic.

 

 

[S-Westerly]

8 hours ago, daveinlim said:

I'll nominate the tour bus that decided to do a u turn on a main road into London at 8am this morning, got stuck and blocked 5 lanes of commuter traffic.

 

 

My almost nob of the day yesterday was a wide load that decided to turn the A1 northbound into a single lane road all the way from the top of the Bowes Incline to Team Valley and that road's a nightmare currently as is.