Nob of the Day.......

[DuRavary]

On 30/09/2021 at 20:17, bonio said:

@Stu Can trump your story, I think.

Couple of years back I left the heated grips on while at work. Come 7 o'clock I want to go home - but the starter motor says no (actually it doesn't make a noise at all). Call the RAC. 3 hours later man with a van comes along, gets me started and follows me to a petrol station so I can fill up and he can be sure I can get moving again .

By the time I get home, it's midnight and the wife is asleep. She thinks I have a front door key. So do I. We are both wrong. Worse, she's as deaf as a post. So I start knocking at the front door - no answer. I phone the house - no answer. I phone her mobile - no answer. I check all the doors and windows, but they're all locked. Then I do the door / phone / mobile routine again, this time knocking a bit louder. No answer. Louder still. Same result.

By now it's about 1 o'clock so I go round the back and start chucking stones at the bedroom window. No answer. I tie some bamboo poles together with garden string and use them to rap the window pane... 

It's nearly 2 in morning so I lie in wait at the front of the house and wait for light to come on which means she's going to the loo, so I can catch her when she's awake. No lights come on. 

About half past two I start getting tired, so I go to the greenhouse and have a lie down and get some kip. About half past three I wake up freezing cold, so I go off for walk round the town. I reckon that I've only another three hours to go before places start to open and I can get a cuppa. Then my mobile rings - it's the wife, just a tad mad with me for not being back home   

 

When I lived in Sussex I played rugby at Worthing Rugby Club. One of my friends, Keith, got home pissed one night, couldn’t find his keys but noticed that the downstairs bathroom window was open. It wasn’t until he had squeezed through the window and was climbing down the toilet that he realised his house didn’t have a toilet that colour. He’d broken to his neighbours house.

[Throttled]

Nob of the day is TMBF twitter, who I have been following for some time and not had a follow back!

 

[Stu]

5 hours ago, Throttled said:

Nob of the day is TMBF twitter, who I have been following for some time and not had a follow back!

 

 

fixed  

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

The bloke due to be doing a new bathroom in the house we rent. Promised to have it done by mid September. Then late September. Then starting 11 October. Then 18 October ( ie tomorrow) which is cutting it fine as I taken the week from 25 October off to decorate and fit carpets.

 

Today he says he's struggling and won't be starting next week. Which means I can't get anything sorted until after Christmas in terms of a tenancy.

[S-Westerly]

7 hours ago, Mississippi Bullfrog said:

The bloke due to be doing a new bathroom in the house we rent. Promised to have it done by mid September. Then late September. Then starting 11 October. Then 18 October ( ie tomorrow) which is cutting it fine as I taken the week from 25 October off to decorate and fit carpets.

 

Today he says he's struggling and won't be starting next week. Which means I can't get anything sorted until after Christmas in terms of a tenancy.

Can you not just tell him to sod off and get someone else? Or is he the only chancer in town?

Edited October 17, 2021 by S-Westerly

[Bender]

20 minutes ago, S-Westerly said:

Can you not just tell him to sod off and get someone else? Or is he the only chancer in town?

Unfortunately most folk who know what they are doing are run off their little feet. 

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

18 minutes ago, S-Westerly said:

Can you not just tell him to sod off and get someone else? Or is he the only chancer in town?

Tricky really. First he is the main contractor used by our agents so it's best to keep things in-house. Second, a friend whose profession is property management tells me he's struggling to get contractors to do work at the moment. So if we drop our guy it could be months before we can get someone else.

 

Basically we're stuffed either way. I'd do it myself if it was where we lived but it's a rental and I don't have time to be going backwards and forwards.

[S-Westerly]

19 minutes ago, Bender said:

Unfortunately most folk who know what they are doing are run off their little feet. 

Good for business I guess? And using cowboys never ends well. 

[Six30]

On 30/09/2021 at 19:17, bonio said:

@Stu Can trump your story, I think.

Couple of years back I left the heated grips on while at work. Come 7 o'clock I want to go home - but the starter motor says no (actually it doesn't make a noise at all). Call the RAC. 3 hours later man with a van comes along, gets me started and follows me to a petrol station so I can fill up and he can be sure I can get moving again .

By the time I get home, it's midnight and the wife is asleep. She thinks I have a front door key. So do I. We are both wrong. Worse, she's as deaf as a post. So I start knocking at the front door - no answer. I phone the house - no answer. I phone her mobile - no answer. I check all the doors and windows, but they're all locked. Then I do the door / phone / mobile routine again, this time knocking a bit louder. No answer. Louder still. Same result.

By now it's about 1 o'clock so I go round the back and start chucking stones at the bedroom window. No answer. I tie some bamboo poles together with garden string and use them to rap the window pane... 

It's nearly 2 in morning so I lie in wait at the front of the house and wait for light to come on which means she's going to the loo, so I can catch her when she's awake. No lights come on. 

About half past two I start getting tired, so I go to the greenhouse and have a lie down and get some kip. About half past three I wake up freezing cold, so I go off for walk round the town. I reckon that I've only another three hours to go before places start to open and I can get a cuppa. Then my mobile rings - it's the wife, just a tad mad with me for not being back home   

 

the mrs when telling her that story....

 

[S-Westerly]

The bloody seagull that shit all over my bike while I was in the dentist. Bloody shitehawk.

[MikeHorton]

2 hours ago, S-Westerly said:

The bloody seagull that shit all over my bike while I was in the dentist. Bloody shitehawk.

I had a conker off the head the other day scared the shit out of me. I wouldn't mind so much but the same tree got me 2 weeks previous with another conker!

[S-Westerly]

Came round a bend and found the road completely carpeted with beech nuts. Made for a squiffy few seconds but fortunately it was in a 20 mph zone so I wasn't too frazzled.

[Steve_M]

16 hours ago, S-Westerly said:

Came round a bend and found the road completely carpeted with beech nuts. Made for a squiffy few seconds but fortunately it was in a 20 mph zone so I wasn't too frazzled.

I face that going down my drive at this time of year. What with the strip of moss down the middle… just getting to the road can be a nervy business. I’ll have to sweep the drive again… I need to buy an attachment for the mower to speed that up. 

[onesea]

18 hours ago, Steve_M said:

I face that going down my drive at this time of year. What with the strip of moss down the middle… just getting to the road can be a nervy business. I’ll have to sweep the drive again… I need to buy an attachment for the mower to speed that up. 

If it’s a paved drive Jeyes fluid can do a good job of keeping moss and Green slippery stuff under control.

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

I used my wife's car yesterday and noticed a squeak from the front end. It does it with engine off if you rock the engine so it's not a belt or water pump.

 

I reckoned it's the Flexi on the exhaust. So I got it up on ramps but couldn't find where it was coming from. The angle of the car on ramps makes it stop.

 

As I went to reverse off the ramps the right hand one shot out like a bullet, careered across the drive and flew into the open garage door, it missed my bikes by inches. 

 

The car came down with a bit of a thump as well. Never had that happen before.

[Bender]

The prick in the unmarked anpr car who was watching the wrong set of lights and drove through a red light at roundabout only to be confronted with another red at the next bit where he had to stop, unfortunately I couldn't get along side to point out his error or disregard for red lights, I'm sure it would have been a good conversation  

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

I drove 15 miles to the house we rent to fit a new radiator in the bathroom. Forgot that the new one needs the brackets in a different place so didn't have my drill bit for tiles. I'll have to go back tomorrow. 

[Bianco2564]

A bus driver in Rugby last night who decided to try and overtake a group of cyclists around a bend and across a pelican crossing.

A car came the other way and the bus had to bail almost taking out the rear cyclists, the approaching car then had to drive on the path to avoid him. He then halted at a bus stop less than 100 yds later which would have made his overtake pointless.

[S-Westerly]

WTF was he thinking?

[Bender]

36 minutes ago, S-Westerly said:

WTF was he thinking?

Fecking bus drivers ehhh what ever goes through there stupid tiny minds Ohh hold on @Stu

 

[Six30]

@Gerontious   cause he's a Twat 

[Mr Fro]

2 hours ago, Bender said:

Fecking bus drivers ehhh what ever goes through there stupid tiny minds Ohh hold on @Stu

 

Getting home in a hurry so they can finger their sisters - much the same as HGV drivers.

[Stu]

54 minutes ago, Mr Fro said:

Getting home in a hurry so they can finger their sisters - much the same as HGV drivers.

 

I have no sisters

[Bender]

14 minutes ago, Stu said:

 

I have no sisters

And no bus service is quick, very fanciful claims indeed. 

[Bender]

Just squeezed in for today, I would like to nominate the In laws who got on the wrong bus on the way home tonight and requested a lift, 8 miles from where they live, I had to get the wife involved as I'm probably (definitely) over the limit.