Mickly Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted October 14, 2021 Share Posted October 14, 2021 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickly Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted October 22, 2021 Share Posted October 22, 2021 Convince people you have won the lottery by putting your heating on and filling the car with fuel!!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted October 31, 2021 Share Posted October 31, 2021 These trick or treaters seem to get older every year... Just had two at the door already asking for money!! Costumes were good though, they were dressed as bailiffs!! I gave them a mars bar each and told them to f**k off!! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted November 2, 2021 Share Posted November 2, 2021 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
husoi Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 A drunk man stinking of beer sat down on a Metro train seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked," Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of hygiene." "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologised. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
husoi Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog's parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.. 7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. 8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?" 9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. 10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert. 11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. 12. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
husoi Posted November 6, 2021 Share Posted November 6, 2021 An elderly couple was sitting at the dinning table The old man have a sip on his red wine glass and says: - I love you so much that I can't imagine my life without you. The wife says: - Is that you or the wine talking? The old man replies: - That's me talking to the wine. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted November 10, 2021 Share Posted November 10, 2021 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_M Posted November 27, 2021 Share Posted November 27, 2021 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mississippi Bullfrog Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 24 minutes ago, Stu said: Can't be Yorkshire, the guy is wearing a coat. A real Yorkshire man would be attired in shorts, t-shirt and flip flops. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-Westerly Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Mississippi Bullfrog said: Can't be Yorkshire, the guy is wearing a coat. A real Yorkshire man would be attired in shorts, t-shirt and flip flops. When we lived in Weardale my son used to go out on the lash wearing jeans and a T-shirt. How he was never dead of hypothermia I'll never know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onesea Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiggie Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 When I worked night shift at petrol station I once had an entire group of women in mini skirts making snow angels on the ground 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bender Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 2 hours ago, Mississippi Bullfrog said: Can't be Yorkshire, the guy is wearing a coat. A real Yorkshire man would be attired in shorts, t-shirt and flip flops. Bollocks sorry but real yorkshire man would be filling a bowl with snow 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-Westerly Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 59 minutes ago, Bender said: Bollocks sorry but real yorkshire man would be filling a bowl with snow Yep, short arms with long pockets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_M Posted December 2, 2021 Share Posted December 2, 2021 Too soon? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu Posted December 7, 2021 Share Posted December 7, 2021 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Six30 Posted December 7, 2021 Share Posted December 7, 2021 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyrider Posted December 7, 2021 Share Posted December 7, 2021 1 hour ago, Six30 said: you missed a bit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billy sugger Posted December 7, 2021 Share Posted December 7, 2021 I was in the pub having a laugh and a joke when the barmaid rolled her eyes at me. I rolled them back--they looked real to me 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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