Nob of the Day.......

[husoi]

Can I nominate someone as Nob of the decade? 

 

Phoking princess Nicola.

Another tax increase for them to waste.

Useless, brainless tw@t.

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

I ordered a falls alarm for my mother who came home from a nursing home on Friday afternoon.  They said it would be here by Wednesday. 

 

Needless to say no sign of it. They managed to get it to me Friday afternoon but forgot to mention that their setting up phone line only opens Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00. So come Saturday morning I open the box but can't set it up and have to drive another 100 miles again on Monday to get it working. 

[bonio]

The end of my thumb

[Bianco2564]

After finishing work on the Kawasaki went to put all my tools away.

Everything there except my 12mm spanner.

Not with the bike,

Not on the floor

Not on the bench where I had all the tools

Not in my pockets,

Not in the drawers with the other tools I'd used.

Not in the house.

Spent probably 20 mins looking for it.

Thought I'd wash OHs car and while on this was retracing my steps in my head, (always remember this method from an old Sherlock Holmes movie) and had a lightbulb moment....... "magnetic dish".

Sure enough, there it was stuck on the side of my tool box.

Tw@t.

[Bianco2564]

5 minutes ago, bonio said:

The end of my thumb

Ouch, what happened?

[bonio]

Hedgecutter. It wasn't even on.

I was putting the blade back into the sheath when the end of my thumb got in the way. Found the bit stuck to my finger.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, bonio said:

Hedgecutter. It wasn't even on.

I was putting the blade back into the sheath when the end of my thumb got in the way. Found the bit stuck to my finger.

Maybe start with one of these and work your way up

[Six30]

On 16/12/2022 at 12:29, husoi said:

Can I nominate someone as Nob of the decade? 

 

Phoking princess Nicola.

Another tax increase for them to waste.

Useless, brainless tw@t.

 

that award goes to the prick that is Sadiq Khan..... 

[daveinlim]

3 hours ago, bonio said:

Hedgecutter. It wasn't even on.

I was putting the blade back into the sheath when the end of my thumb got in the way. Found the bit stuck to my finger.

 

Is that your nail?

Did you slice the whole top off or cut a thick lump of skin off. 

Hope it can be fixed

[bonio]

@daveinlim It's mainly meat. There's a bit of nail attached too. The whole thing is about the size of a penny.

Edited January 28, 2023 by bonio

[billy sugger]

Bet the bugger hurts though

[bonio]

Was sore last night for sure. 

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

I am sat here freezing wondering why the central heating won't turn on.

 

I was so cold I resorted to warming my hands over the slow cooker in which tonight's tea is stewing. Then I look down and see the thermostat is right next to the slow cooker and is registering a nice toasty 23C.

[Tiggie]

@Mississippi Bullfrog. That reminds me of a story someone told me years ago.

 

She used to work in an office and the company kept the temperature at 16° all year round. In the winter they used to put cans of coke from the fridge on top of the thermostat so it would always think it was cold and keep the heat pumping out 

 

[S-Westerly]

1 hour ago, Tiggie said:

@Mississippi Bullfrog. That reminds me of a story someone told me years ago.

 

She used to work in an office and the company kept the temperature at 16° all year round. In the winter they used to put cans of coke from the fridge on top of the thermostat so it would always think it was cold and keep the heat pumping out 

 

Must have been run by my wife. She keeps the house at 17. Our heating bills are not high. 

[Mississippi Bullfrog]

My grandfather used to smoke a pipe. When they complained it was cold he'd show them the thermometer which showed a relatively high reading - but only because he had his pipe in his hand right next to it.

[onesea]

Today I am going for the car driver who thought he was going to get me visiting him head first through his windscreen.

 

Who decide to overtake a cyclist at 1.5m distance, not worrying about on coming motorbike along this stretch of road:


 

I was particularly reluctant to ride on the verge or last 6” of the road to miss you.

 

Particularly at the moment that area of the road is potholes mud and gravel following recent rain.  So I choose head on rather than loosing control,  I could hear his ABS kicking off and the whites of his eyes getting bigger.

The car almost stopped swerved round me waved half an apology and drove off, the cyclist just carried on cycling.

 

[Ian Frog]

Well done for keeping your nerve in what must have been a squeaky bum type situation.

Cheers

Ian

[husoi]

I want to nominate the nob end who did the MOT on the PAN 

 

The idiot failed the MOT because the tyre was a bit worn. Fine I can accept that I should have changed it before the test.

Then, not happy with his performance, the idiot decided that I would have to replace the rear disk, both front and rear break pads.

He called me quoting the tyre at £200 plus fitting.

The cherry on the cake was the same issue being a automatic fail and advisory.

 

The pads are still in good condition, the rear ones are almost new with a good 3mm meat and the front only one pad is below 2mm.

Did a clean to the breaks and have a new Bridgestone T32 fitted @ £180

 

Will take the bike back for retest this weekend.

Still not sure if I will tell those idiots that I'm not going back with any of the bikes for MOT or let them find out by themselves. 

[Throttled]

Knob of the day is the man who punched me because I asked him to pick up the dog shit his dog left right outside our house. I knocked on the window and he went instantly into ballistic mode, denying it was his dog. He insisted on picking it up, even though it was not his dogs, but then he announced, very loudly, that he was going to come in and shove it in my face. The front door was unlocked as we were about to leave, so I met him there and decided to try and calm things down by apologising and accepting it was not his dogs. That did not work, but he did hand me the bag of shit. I was shouting at him to f**k off and walked him down the path, when he turned, I put my arms up and he hit me. I threw the bag of shit at him and got him a cracker, there was shit all over his face! We exchanged a few blows and really annoyingly, I stumbled and ended up on the ground. By then my wife and neighbours were out, so he backed off. He got me just on the side of my head and bent my glasses, which the optician has fixed. He got a bloody lip and the shit on his face.

 

It is actually quite satisfying, for the first time in my adult life, to not be the one who backs down and to fight back. I had one fight as a kid, when I punched the son of legendary Rangers footballer Jim Baxter in the face, which then exploded with blood as I got him a cracker on the nose. I think from now on, I will fight and not back down

[Fozzie]

16 minutes ago, Throttled said:

Knob of the day is the man who punched me because I asked him to pick up the dog shit his dog left right outside our house.

 

 

Who needs enemies with locals like that  

 

Glad you came off ok, but be careful with retribution style attacks. This sort of stuff often escalates. Unless apologies were exchanged, getting shit on someones face may well end up with some form of revenge. Wouldn't be surprised if windows, or through the letter box were a target. 

 

If it kicks off again, or there's a threat of it going physical again, just record him with your phone. Pop it in your pocket but leave the part with the camera sticking out. And as I was once told "record, don't react, or try to get a rise. Let them do it all". 

 

The issue is, he knows where you live. And you don't know how much of a nutter he is, or if he has any nutter friends. I speak with some experience in this where no amount of discouragement was enough to dissuade one side. 

[MikeHorton]

50 minutes ago, Throttled said:

Knob of the day is the man who punched me because I asked him to pick up the dog shit his dog left right outside our house. I knocked on the window and he went instantly into ballistic mode, denying it was his dog. He insisted on picking it up, even though it was not his dogs, but then he announced, very loudly, that he was going to come in and shove it in my face. The front door was unlocked as we were about to leave, so I met him there and decided to try and calm things down by apologising and accepting it was not his dogs. That did not work, but he did hand me the bag of shit. I was shouting at him to f**k off and walked him down the path, when he turned, I put my arms up and he hit me. I threw the bag of shit at him and got him a cracker, there was shit all over his face! We exchanged a few blows and really annoyingly, I stumbled and ended up on the ground. By then my wife and neighbours were out, so he backed off. He got me just on the side of my head and bent my glasses, which the optician has fixed. He got a bloody lip and the shit on his face.

 

It is actually quite satisfying, for the first time in my adult life, to not be the one who backs down and to fight back. I had one fight as a kid, when I punched the son of legendary Rangers footballer Jim Baxter in the face, which then exploded with blood as I got him a cracker on the nose. I think from now on, I will fight and not back down

Be careful I know your thinking but people carry knives etc and it's not worth it. Walk off and let him find a other target there's a lot of strange folk out there.

[Throttled]

42 minutes ago, MikeHorton said:

Be careful I know your thinking but people carry knives etc and it's not worth it. Walk off and let him find a other target there's a lot of strange folk out there.

 

It hard to walk off when someone is at your door threatening to come in. I am not just now protecting myself, but also my family and house.

[Guest]

Highways/ Council or whoever it is round here who has ignored all the potholes but remarked the white centre lines, including through the potholes. 

[Fiddlesticks]

Went for a longish ride on Sunday. The first nob of the day was 100yds from home, thinking they could pull out on me from the right. As if to say, "you're only on a motorcycle, you don't mind if I cause you to brake suddenly so I can join this otherwise empty road, do you?"

Standing your ground against 2 tonnes of entitled stupid is not to be recommended, but if you do find yourself, two fingers on the brake, pretending not to have seen an impatient Qashqai driver trying to bully you out of their way, it is kind of funny when they do that emergency stop halfway across the road.

 

Second one was from the left. I'm doing a steady 30 on a long, straight road and they ploughed through a give way line without looking. Brake or swerve - never both. No point swerving either left to go behind them or right to go in front until I knew whether they'd gun it or stop. So kept the bike heading straight, towards the driver's door, slowing as much as possible. A series of short blasts on the horn. Finally they stopped. I let off the brakes, performed a fairly tight swerve around their bonnet and kept on going.

 

Lastly, going all the way around a mini roundabout at a supermarket, back towards the petrol station. Did a right shoulder check and what's this? Some Volvo estate approaching from the opposite direction has decided to take a short cut, going the wrong way round the roundabout, about to wipe me out. This is where the acceleration capabilites of a bike can get you out of a tricky spot.

My philosophical take on all of this: If the fact that some drivers appear to be idiots comes as a surprise, we may not have inferred all that was intended from the extensive hazard avoidance elements of motorcycle training.